


The Luckiest

by peacefulboo



Series: Heart's at the Wheel [2]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Scott Moir & Tessa Virtue's Comeback Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-10-12 04:58:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17461037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peacefulboo/pseuds/peacefulboo
Summary: It’s gonna be a long, hard road with their kid in tow if they want to make a solid go at the 2018 Olympics, but the road behind them is longer and they’ve grown through it together. It’d be a shame to quit now.A follow up to My Heart's at the Wheel Now.





	1. it's one more round for experience

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks as always to D & C for the editing and the hand holding and the cheerleading. Also to A who read it when I was ready to chuck it and said kind things. ;) 
> 
> To the random anons who would occasionally pop up on Tumblr to let me know they still cared, you rock and made my day on more than one occasion. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Do you think Kurt’s right?” Tessa asks Marie-France. She, Scott, and Kaela are in Montreal for the week, working through some new choreography with Marie and Sam. They’re out to dinner, just the two of them, while Scott and Patch take care of the girls at the Dubreuil-Lauzon household.

“That you could compete? I do,” Marie confirms. “I’ve sensed for a while that you and Scott are not done.”

“Would you do it?” Tessa asks.

“No. But I am not you and Patrice is not Scott,” Marie answers honestly. “We were good, but you two have always been special.”

“If we choose to come back it would be with you and Patch,” Tessa says.

“Of course,” Marie agrees and Tessa sighs in relief. 

Tessa is quiet for a moment, she can feel the tension in her shoulders and brow but can’t focus enough to straighten up.

“What has you worried,” Marie asks.

What doesn’t have her worried? “Mostly Kaela,” Tessa replies because it’s true.

“What about her worries you?”

“She’s so little and she needs me -- needs us -- so much still,” Tessa starts.

“So there’s an us?” Marie interrupts with her eyebrows raised, “We’ll come back to that,” she continues with a wink. Since Tessa has no intention of hiding her relationship with Scott from these friends, she nods in agreement.

“Yeah. Us. Competition means a level of focus that tour doesn’t require,” Tessa says. She takes a sip of her wine, staring at it for a moment before continuing, “We couldn’t take her with us to something like NHK in the same way we are taking her to Japan for tour. Our focus would be too split. But I also can’t help but wonder if being away from her would be a bigger distraction.”

“It would be something you both would need to work through,” Marie agrees. “But as I said with tour, logistics can be worked out.”

“Logistics in general will be a nightmare,” Tessa states. Because they will be. They are going to need an army if they have any hope of catching up to, much less surpassing the top teams.

“You worked with Gauthier’s team in 2010, yes?” Marie asks. “They’ve been doing amazing things the last few Olympic cycles. You might want to see if that’s an option.”

“That would be ideal, but I’m not sure I’m exactly the type of athlete they’re looking for anymore.” While the thought has crossed her mind, Tessa hasn’t given serious thought to approaching the B2ten team after she’d opted not to use them in the run up to Sochi. They tend to only work with athletes who are almost sure things and just need a little extra to make it onto the podium. She and Scott are nowhere near there right now.

“If you do this, you want to win, yes?”

“Of course,” Tessa says automatically.

“Then you leave no stone unturned. And if they say no, you find the money to build your own team,” Marie shrugs as if it’s the simplest concept. Tessa loves how her friend’s enthusiasm and creativity belie her hard earned practicality and tenacity. There is nothing Marie-France Dubreuil can’t do if she wants it bad enough.

***

While Tessa and Scott don’t announce to the public the change in their relationship, they do tell their families. Alma and Joe are quietly excited for them and Kate seems almost relieved. Everyone else gives them some version of “finally” and wishes them the best.

The rest of the world can find out in bits and pieces over the next few years. 

They manage to go on two more short tours -- one in Japan and one in Canada -- as well as conduct a master class tour of Ontario and Quebec with Lindt. It’s hard, and they’re perpetually exhausted, but Kaela is ridiculously good at traveling and they are incredibly lucky to have family members who are thrilled to be her caregiver during different stretches of their travel.

While they still haven’t made any firm decisions, Tessa and Scott agree to start training as if returning to competition is their endgame. That way if they do go back to competing they won’t have as much ground to cover. They start putting out feelers, and working with sports psychologists and they set up meetings with a few movement experts they are considering working with. They even set up a meeting with the B2ten team, who essentially tell them that they think they’re brave as fuck but that they won’t be bankrolling their off-ice team until they can see that they’re able and willing to commit to doing what it takes to medal at Pyeongchang, child or no. If they can produce results in the 2016-2017 season, they’ll be glad to revisit the topic. They give them a list of referrals, all the same people they’d recommend if they were footing the bill, though it will have to be on their own dime.

Tessa leaves the meeting with the feeling that Dominick and Jenn are rooting for them. It helps some. 

In late August, Scott invites Tessa to a session with his personal therapist who also specializes in couples therapy. 

Tessa’s initial gut reaction is a big ol’ nope. She doesn’t say it out loud, thank god, but the moment he asks if she’d be willing to come with him her brain shuts down and she finds it hard to breathe. Which is strange for someone who has been in therapy for much of the last decade. 

“Whoa,” Scott breathes out when he sees her body react to his request. “No, no, no,” he tells her palming her cheek with one hand while running his fingers through her hair with the other. 

It takes her a few moments to find her center again, allowing the panic to recede and her brain to come back online and when she’s calm and back in her body she understands that her reaction would indicate that they very much do need to attend therapy together. 

“Can you tell me what just happened?” Scott asks as he sits back and looks her over, genuine curiosity and concern marking his face. He’s holding her hand and Tessa tries to focus on how much comfort that brings her. 

“We’re good, yeah?” she starts, looking him in the eye. 

“I think so,” he answers honestly. 

“We are,” she assures him. “We’re so good and we’re happy and the last few months have been amazing. Loving you and being loved by you has been such a joy. And watching you with Kaela,” she pauses to smile brightly at him through her tears, “There are no words for how beautiful that’s been.”

Scott smiles back at her but it’s wary and touched with concern. He rubs his thumb against the apple of her cheek in encouragement and comfort and Tessa leans in as she closes her eyes and sighs. 

“I’m scared to upset the apple cart,” she admits, her eyes still closed. “Terrified, actually.” She knows better than this. She knows that if they’re going to be successful as a couple, that there are things they need to deal with and address. Things that will come back to haunt them if they let them stay below the surface, especially if they come back to the pressure cooker that is competition. But fuck, she doesn’t want to feel that hurt anymore. 

“Tess,” he says and she looks back at him with a half-hearted smile. “I love you, you know,” he tells her with a kiss to her forehead. “And the last six months have been the best of my life. And yeah, addressing the bad and the good is going to be hard and is nerve-wracking, but I don’t just want an amazing year or two with you. I want an amazing _lifetime_ with you.”

Tessa smiles at him and nods, “Me, too,” she says as she leans up and kisses him. “Me, too.” She leans her head on his shoulder and relaxes into him, absorbing all the warmth and security he brings her. 

***

 

The most common thread of their therapy sessions is their commitment to each other and their varying belief that the other truly wants to be all in. There are days, most days even, that Tessa knows with utter certainty that Scott has her back both on and off the ice and intends to be with her for the long haul. But there are still nights when she wakes up with a sense of dread and loneliness that she can’t quite shake. 

“You say that you _know_ it’s irrational,” Dr. Vega prompts. “I must ask: Is it irrational?”

“It’s not that it’s not rational, I know where it comes from, but I thought I’d moved past that. I don’t like feeling insecure about it,” Tessa admits. 

“But you understand where the fear comes from?”

“I do,” Tessa replies. 

“You say that you keep thinking that you’ve moved past the feeling of abandonment and you sound like maybe you’re frustrated that you haven’t,” Vega reflects back. “We’ve talked before about progress not being linear.”

“It makes me feel like I don’t trust him,” Tessa says with a weary sigh. “I do trust you,” she says to Scott this time. 

He doesn’t saying anything in reply, just takes their joined hands and lifts her knuckles to his lips. 

***

A few nights later Scott is sitting on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table and Tessa is so tired that she slumps into his side rather than cuddles. He gently presses down on her shoulders and she shifts until she’s lying with her head in his lap. Scott starts off softly, gently running his fingers through her hair but occasionally increases the pressure when he reaches the base of her skull and at other various points along her scalp that he’s learned are her release points. It’s not the best position for a full head and shoulder massage but it’s helping anyway. 

It feels amazing and she’s so grateful for his caring hands. She’s almost asleep when he starts to talk. 

“You know I don’t blame you, right?” he murmurs. “It’s not irrational to be worried sometimes. To be afraid. We’ve got so much of our lives wrapped up in each other, and so much contradictory history that you wouldn’t be you if it didn’t occasionally worry you. Even overwhelm you. You’ve known me for most of my life, and experience tells you that I will be there for you, but it also tells you that sometimes I won’t.” He pauses, “It makes me sad that your gut remembers those times, but I’m also proud of you for it.”

“Proud?” she asks. “How does that make sense?” Her eyes are still closed but she turns her face toward him a little and furrows her brow in confusion. 

“It would be reckless for you to forget that part of our history, to just blindly believe that I mean it this time. And I do mean it. I am going to keep showing up, every day. Every day. Unless you tell me you don’t want me to.” He swallows audibly and Tessa reaches up to take his hand and bring it to her lips. 

“I believe you. Every day I believe you. And the times when I don’t are getting fewer and farther between. They only last a moment. Because when I wake up in a cold sweat, or feel overwhelmingly alone and lonely, all I have to do is reach over and you’re there. It’s everything” 

She means it, too. 

***

In early October, Tessa finalizes a partnership contract with a Canadian athleisure company. It almost falls through when they try to push the mom-athlete angle, which Tessa adamantly refuses to capitulate to. She has zero interest in leveraging her relationship with her daughter for sponsorships. In the end they agree to the boundaries she sets, but she has a feeling it’s a line she’ll have to draw over and over. She loves her baby girl so much, but Tessa Virtue was an Olympic Champion before Kaela came into the picture. If that’s not enough for a company to want her onboard, then she’ll walk.

In that vein, she’s offered partnerships with Pampers and Gerber which she also refuses, but she gladly agrees to a collaboration on a jewelry line, and even agrees to a small campaign with a local lingerie company, whose pieces make her giddy. The company uses a remarkably diverse group of models in the campaign, which Tessa loves. 

She and Scott do their best to make deliberate, strategic decisions when it comes to bringing in capital. As loathe as Scott has been to do individual sponsorship deals in the past, he agrees to a few of his own. He signs on to partner with Under Armour and then with Dove’s new Men’s Sport line of products, which he admits he finds a little bit ridiculous at first, but actually ends up using. He complains about the photo shoots (which always makes Tessa roll her eyes even as she laughs) but puts his head down and does them anyway. Tessa waffles between feeling conflicted that he has to compromise like this and proud that he does it anyway. 

“I’m a grown-ass man, Tessa. Sometimes grown men have to do something they don’t love in order to do something else that they do love. That’s not selling out, it’s being smart,” he tells her when she brings up her concerns. He rolls his eyes, not at her, but at his younger, more purist self, and presses a smacking kiss against her temple before hopping up off the couch and heading out to meet the foreman at the house he’s renovating. 

He continues to supervise the progress on the house, hoping that it will be ready to sell in late spring, figuring that will be another cash influx that they can use if they decide to go for a comeback. 

Tessa is so proud of him. 

***

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Kaela, happy birthday to you,” Tessa sings softly as she lifts her sleepy baby girl from her crib. Scott is smiling at them from the doorway but he lets them have a short moment to themselves before coming in and kissing Kaela’s cheek.

“Happy birthday, baby girl,” he murmurs as he pulls them both into his arms.

Kaela is her mother’s daughter and often takes a while to wake up, but she smiles up at both of them as she slowly blinks her eyes and shakes off the heaviness of sleep, completely clueless about why they’re singing to her, but still content and happy to bask in their adoration of her.

By the time Scott has her breakfast ready and Tessa has her diaper changed, she’s babbling a mile a minute. She has some words now -- Up, down, please, done, mama, sleepy, more, and no, being chief among them -- but most of them are still just approximations of the word and when she mixes them with her other baby speak, Tessa and Scott just nod along and talk back as they please. It’s been fascinating to watch her daughter grow and evolve. While her speech is right on target, Kaela seems to have no interest in walking. She crawls fast as anything (seriously, Tessa has had to leap over her a few times rather than trip when Kaela suddenly appears underfoot and her heart races every damn time it happens) and she’ll cruise around, holding onto furniture or walk around holding onto Tessa or Scott’s hands but the second they let go, she’s down on her bum and looking at them like they’ve betrayed her, fixing them with an adorable scowl, before turning tail and crawling to her desired destination. Tessa figures she’ll get there soon enough and is in no rush for her daughter to grow up. 

Despite Kaela having zero idea why it’s significant, Tessa and Scott block off the whole day to spend with her. They spend the morning at a petting zoo, which ends up being both adorable and hilarious. Kaela is fascinated by every animal they see, right up until it’s time to pet them and then she gives both the animals, and Tessa or Scott, an incredulous look and keeps her hands fisted up against her face. 

“No,” she says when Tessa tries to gently take her hand and help her pet a bunny, of all things. 

Scott reaches out and pets the bunny himself saying, “It’s so soft Kay,” in his most encouraging voice. “Don’t you want to pet the bunny?”

She mimics Scott saying soft, dropping the t as she tends to do, but adamantly refuses to reach her hand out. 

They give up and let her watch the goats bounce around their pen and laugh with her when one of the goats knocks another one down in its enthusiasm. 

“Those goats are so silly, huh, Kaela,” Tessa says as she crouches next to her daughter’s stroller. 

Kaela falls asleep on the drive home. She drifts off in the middle of telling them increasingly drowsy stories about what she experienced in her whisper soft voice. Tessa’s pretty sure she picks out her baby’s version of silly goats, which pretty much sounds like “see ghost” and she’ll always love the way Kaela says bunnies as if it’s two words, with equal, enthusiastic emphasis placed on both syllables. 

Scott carries Kaela inside and puts her down before joining Tessa in the living room. They should probably finish getting the house ready for the evening party that they’ve invited their families over for, but they’ve already done most of the work so Tessa lets herself lean against Scott’s side as they sit on their couch and enjoy the quiet. 

“I’m ready,” Scott says against her temple. 

“Hmm?” Tessa asks. She hadn’t realized that she’d dozed off. 

“I’m ready for her to know me as her dad,” he admits, his voice a heartbreaking mix of hope and trepidation. “I’d like to be her dad.”

"Okay," Tessa agrees. “Yes. If you're sure"

"I've been sure for a while now," he answers with such confidence and joy. And then his face softens as he adds, "We just all needed to get there."

He’d been waiting for her to be ready, she realizes. In fact, when she looks back at the last six months she realizes that he’s probably been ready since the end of the tour. Oh how she adores this patient, patient man. 

“You are her daddy, Scott,” Tessa assures him with a wide smile. “Whether we’ve used that word or not, you’re her daddy and she’s your daughter.”

Scott leans down and kisses her, his smile wide as the sun and Tessa can’t help but laugh into the kiss. 

An hour later, when their clothes are back to rights, they doze lightly on the couch with Tessa leaning against the arm and Scott hugging her middle with his head against her stomach. She absentmindedly plays with the ends of his hair and he’s running his fingers up and down her lower spine causing a sensation that’s just this side of ticklish. They’re pulled out of their daze by the sound of Kaela chattering to her toys through the monitor. While they normally try and give her time on her own when she first wakes up unless she’s distraught, it’s her birthday and Tessa just wants to hang out with her kid while she’s awake. She taps Scott’s arm to get him to release her and she feels him shake his head against her belly. 

“I’ll get her,” he tells her as he sits up quickly, that wide, sunshine smile back on his face. 

Tessa nods in agreement and lets him head back to Kaela’s room on his own. She doesn’t hear anything through the monitor for a moment but then she hears Kaela giggle and whisper, “Up, up.”

“Oh man, your hair is all over the place, buddy,” she hears Scott say with a chuckle. “You must have been doing something fun in your dreams, yeah?”

Kaela babbles for a few minutes as Scott changes her and he talks back as always. 

When they come out to the living room Tessa laughs at the state of her daughter’s hair. The soft, reddish-blonde waves are smashed against the right side of her head and are a frizzy mess on her left. She has sleep creases embedded all down the right side of her face and Tessa can tell her sleep was deep and sweaty. 

“Looks like Mama and Daddy are gonna need to give you a bath, huh, baby girl,” she tells her with a shake of her head. “Need to get you clean and presentable for your party.” 

The party goes off without a hitch. It’s most of the Virtue and Moir families, including all of their brothers and their families. Jordan is still in Australia but is making plans to move back to Canada right before the holidays so Tessa gives her a pass. Lord knows Tessa has missed plenty of birthdays and weddings and other important events in the life of her siblings and friends over the years. 

All the kids are running around and playing together and the chaos is simultaneously joy giving and anxiety inducing. Inevitably one of the bigger kids trips over Kaela in their enthusiasm and, though she obviously isn’t physically hurt by the action, she starts to wail. All the adults in the room do that half-chuckle, half-coo, that human adults do when a child is adorably distraught. Danny’s Tessa pulls their daughter to the side to gently reprimand her while Scott takes pity on Kaela and scoops her up into his arms. 

“You’re okay, baby girl, no need for all this fuss,” he tells her while holding her to him and smoothing back her hair. “Daddy’s got you.”

Tessa can feel the moment that the adults in the room register what Scott says. Alma’s head whips up to look at Scott and Kaela, and Danny and Charlie both look to Tessa first. She just nods her head to confirm that they heard right. Tessa’s brothers just roll their eyes and continue with their own conversation. 

Once Kaela is calm, they decide that it’s time for cake so Tessa strips her down to her diaper, makes sure that her hair is out of her face, and sets her in the high chair. Scott puts the simply decorated white and yellow smash cake in front of their daughter and then they all step back and wait. And wait. 

“You can eat it, baby,” Tessa encourages when her daughter stares at the cake and then at all the people gathered around watching her. Kaela just gives her a dubious look and pokes her finger at the cake. Tessa has been careful to avoid giving her baby sugary things up until this point so she figures she shouldn’t be too surprised that Kaela has no idea what the appeal would be. After a few more words of encouragement with no action, Scott sticks his finger in the frosting along the bottom edge of the cake and holds it in front of Kaela’s mouth. 

“Taste it, buddy,” Scott encourages. Kaela tentatively leans forward with an open mouth and lets Scott put some frosting on her lips. 

Everyone laughs as Kaela’s eyes go wide and she does a little chair dance once the flavor registers. 

“Is it so delicious?” Tessa asks with a laugh.

Kaela nods enthusiastically and makes a grab for Scott’s finger to try and get more. 

“Nope,” he tells her as he pulls his hand away. He boops her on the nose with the remaining frosting and encourages her again, “You’ve gotta get it from the source now.” He pushes the cake closer and this time Kaela doesn’t hesitate to grab a handful and shove it into her mouth. Or rather into her face. 

The other kids shriek in glee while the adults chuckle fondly and Tessa has never felt as loved as she does when she realizes that the love these people have always had for her has expanded to include her kid. 

Megan and the other Tessa cut the larger cake and pass it out to the excited kids who are all promptly ordered to sit in a circle on the dark wood floor of the kitchen in an attempt to contain the mess. 

At this point Kaela has frosting smeared into her hair and all over her face and torso, so Kate and Alma quickly get her out of her diaper and into a sink full of warm water to get her clean. 

The party winds down quickly after that as everyone needs to get their own kids to bed. After a round of hugs to everyone Alma pulls Tessa aside and hugs her tight, not letting go for a long time. 

“Thank you,” Alma says after a few moments. 

“For what?” Tessa asks, genuinely curious. After all this woman has given her and Scott, it’s hard to see what she could be thanking Tessa for. 

“For letting him love you both. For choosing to be family and letting that little girl be family, too.”

“There’s nothing to thank me for. Thank you for loving me so well and for raising Scott to be such an amazing man.”

“Oh, I think we both know I wasn’t the only one who raised him,” Alma says as she pats Tessa’s cheek.

***

The time between Kaela’s birthday and Christmas passes quickly in a flurry of photo shoots, interview segments for the upcoming Canadian Nationals, which they’ve been asked to do color commentary for, and lots and lots of sweating in various gyms and skating rinks. Tessa is pretty sure she’s never worked harder in her life, but she also hopes they’re working smarter. Ever mindful of the “over-use” aspect of her compartment syndrome, she works with a team of movement specialists who, once again, tweak how she walks and runs and skates. 

She’s been here a few times before and it’s always a little maddening, but this time Scott is right beside her almost every step of the way. In the lead up to Vancouver, Scott was pretty much MIA when it came to any type of relearning or evolution in movement. He was already an excellent technician and he, Marina, and Igor didn’t see a need for him to do anything but get stronger to compensate for a potentially weaker Tessa. She’s pretty sure they were afraid to mess with something they didn’t feel was broken, and it worked, so Tessa can’t really blame any of them. 

He was a little more mature and on board for learning different mechanics in the years leading to the Sochi Olympics but they most worked with separate teams and with Tessa’s legs still giving her trouble, the focus on mechanics improvement was still on her and getting her body to a place where she could skate without pain the vast majority of the time. They both had individual success but their diverging paths in the gym mirrored their diverging paths personally and they had to constantly fight to stay in sync with each other. 

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Tessa sighs from where she lies sprawled out on the disgusting mats, Scott looking equally wrecked next to her. “It’s so much better with you here,” she tells him as she turns her head a little to look at him. He smiles back at her and the way his eyes light up despite his red face and sweat-soaked hair kills her just a little. 

“If I didn’t know we have a little kid at home waiting for us, I don’t think I’d ever be able to get up again,” he admits as his head flops over so he’s looking at her. 

Mac, their current trainer here in London, snorts and Tessa sees him roll his eyes as she looks up at him. “You both know better than to lie down after going that hard. You’d think you were rookies.”

“I feel like a fucking rookie,” Scott grumps out. He huffs out a huge breath as he hefts himself into a sitting position and then hops up so he’s standing. Tessa watches him with admiration but makes no move to get off the ground. She does know better but she just wants to lie here for a few more minutes. 

Scott is having none of that, though. He holds out his hand to her and laughs when she frowns up at it.

“I don’t wanna,” she groans. Every cell in her body is screaming for oxygen and rest and she would really like to just indulge them, thank you very much. 

“Come on, Kiddo,” Scott coaxes. “The sooner you get up, the sooner we can hit the shower, and then we can eat, and then we can snuggle on the couch with our kid, and then we can sleep the best sleep of our lives.”

She continues to frown at his hand, weighing her options. He’s right, of course, so she lifts a limp hand to his and helps him pull her up to a standing position. He uses the momentum to pull her straight into his arms and they stand there wrapped in a sweaty, disgusting hug for a few moments before he drags her back to the locker room. They’re the only two at the small studio besides Mac, who is great at giving them their privacy, so they strip together, and help each other wash up quickly. As they finish up, Scott looks down at her and drops a long, comforting kiss to her lips before reaching behind her and turning off the spray. 

“Let’s go home.”

They dry off efficiently, each pulling on their favorite compression gear as their base layer before bundling up. Mac points his head toward their post-workout drinks when they emerge from the locker room. They thank him and say goodbye before heading out into the cold evening. 

“How can I feel so amazing and alive _and_ like I want to die right now?” Scott asks tiredly from the driver’s seat as he navigates their way back home. 

“Bodies are fun,” is all Tessa says with a wry smile. 

“Think she’ll let us go to sleep early tonight?” Scott asks with childish hope in his voice. 

“Since we want it so bad? Maybe not, but I’m thinking our chances are about fifty-fifty,” Tessa admits with a laugh. 

“We’re gonna try anyway, right?” Scott asks. 

“Absolutely.”

They make an easy dinner when they get home, just some broiled salmon, leftover brown rice, and butternut squash cubes that they have in their freezer.

Kaela is cuddly today so after dinner, when everyone is in their pajamas and ready for bed they all settle on the couch as Tessa reads four different books to Kaela, stopping to make animal noises where appropriate and to talk about the colors on the page. 

“Blue horse, blue horse, what do you see?”

“Are horses blue, Kay-Kay?,” Scott asks, like he does every time they read the book. 

“No,” they say together, long and drawn out. 

Tessa looks at Scott over her glasses gives him a look that asks, “May I continue?” 

“Carry on,” he tells her, with a grin. 

“I see a green frog looking at me.”

“Ribbit, ribbit,” Kaela whispers along with Tessa, though, as usual, she leaves off the t’s at the end of the word.

They get lucky and Kaela starts yawning half an hour before her bedtime. She goes down easily as usual and before they know it they are taking turns kissing her head, telling her they love her, and to have good dreams. 

She mumbles it back, her words smooshed and distorted but clear as day to Tessa. Scott drops a kiss on Tessa’s cheek as they walk out of Kaela’s room and they fall into bed, exhausted but happy. 

***

Two days before Christmas they drop Kaela off at Kate’s a little earlier than normal and head out for breakfast. Tessa knows that this is it. It’s time to decide and even though she knows what the answer will be, she’s still oddly nervous. 

“We’re doing this, yeah?” Scott asks. 

“We are doing this,” Tessa confirms. 

And just like that everything shifts. 

They spend the next two hours hashing out what they want their return to competition to look like. 

“We can move to Montreal after Nationals,” he says, taking a sip of his coffee. 

“First of February, yeah,” Tessa agrees. 

“Maybe we don’t bring Kaela with us to Halifax for the Nationals gig at first, have your mom bring her for the last couple of days. See how the separation goes?” Scott’s jaw is a little clenched as he says this, so Tessa nods in encouragement. 

“That would be smart.”

“We tell our families now?” he asks. 

“Absolutely,” Tessa agrees between bites of egg. “We can call up Marie and Patch first, to confirm and then tell everyone when we’re all together Christmas Eve.”

“Are we doing this to win or are we doing this because we love skating together and think we can be better at it?” Scott asks, knowing the answer but needing it verbalized. 

“Both. The latter is what we can control, though, so we should only do this if it’s enough.”

“Skating with you at your peak? At _our_ peak? It’s enough,” Scott says with a happy smile. 

So yeah, they’re doing this.


	2. Chapter 2

Settling into their new home in Montreal is easier than Tessa expected. They are smart and hire movers who both pack and unpack the majority of their things and while the break in Kaela’s routine has her a little more cranky than normal, it’s nothing they can’t handle. 

Finding an actual nanny is a bit easier this time. Billie-Rose is in school and is involved in a few after school programs, so Patch and Marie-France recommend their now part-time nanny, Ettie, to Tessa and Scott. She’s a sweet, quiet lady who speaks more French than English, and who Kaela seems to take a shine to immediately. She’ll still take care of Billie when the little girl is not otherwise occupied, but now she’ll have Kaela full time as well. 

Since both Tessa and Scott are the youngest of their families, they’re glad that Kaela will have an older kid around. 

They meet their new off-ice team slowly over the course of February and fall in love with everyone pretty quickly. Skate Canada has agreed to foot some of the bill and their endorsements are enough to make up the rest for now. They have another dinner with Dominick and Jenn, mostly because the two couples enjoy each other’s company, but the other couple does express how impressed they are with the effort they’re putting in.

Despite Marie and Patch’s permission, they don’t have Ettie bring Kaela to the rink at all in February. They only spend a few hours a day there this early on, with most of their focus being on off ice prep, so it doesn’t feel terribly necessary. But they’re also a little wary of bring her into their work environment already. 

They’re nervous as hell, and excited, and so stoked to be accepted but it’s an awkward time to join the team. Several of the teams are with Patch and Pascal at Four Continents and the remaining staff, including Marie and Romain, are getting the rest of their teams ready for next month’s Junior and Senior Worlds. They do get ice time but it tends to be at odd hours and often before Kaela is awake or after she’s gone to bed. It blows to not be around for those parts of her day consistently, but she seems to be adjusting well. 

When Patch gets back from Four Continents, he and others from their off-ice team spend a lot of time watching their stroke patterns and tearing them apart in hopes that they can put it back together in a way that gives them more power and speed. 

It sucks. So much. 

Physically it’s exhausting, but it’s possible that Tessa is even more frustrated mentally. She’s been through this before but, as with most things that suck, she’d blocked out just how much she hates feeling like she’s been doing something wrong. Which is where her work with Jaime comes in. Jaime Livingston is someone who had come into her life a while ago and while she was helpful at the time, Tessa can see that she wasn’t in the headspace to take in all she had to offer. 

Now the woman is a breath of fresh air. She is helpful in a way that Tessa has rarely known anyone else to be. She has a way of seeing the world, of seeing Tessa, that only a handful of others have managed. Really, there’s Scott and Jordan, and a few others to lesser extents, but rarely has a therapist or coach or trainer been able to both challenge and comfort Tessa and she’s always glad to see her. She leaves these sessions exhausted, but exhilarated and ready to face her next challenge. 

Tessa is happy to see that there are those on their team that appear to be having the same effect on him. 

Still, the hardest days are not those when she is the most physically or mentally exhausted, but those when she doesn’t get to decompress with both Scott and Kaela. 

It’s a hard adjustment spending so much time away from her baby. She still has time with her every day and the hours away are honestly not any more than they’d be if she was working a normal 40 hour a week job, but by March she puts her foot down and insists on preserving that evening time with her kid at least five days a week. It’s too important to all of them to miss out on. They also do their best to get their first block of training or therapy out of the way before Kaela gets up for the day. It helps that she loves to sleep and isn’t interested in getting up before 9:00am. as long as her room is equipped with blackout curtains - and it is. 

Scott wakes Tessa by 5:30am every day, which may be easier than it was when they were in their teens but it’s still pretty rough. He sits next to her every morning, wakes her with kisses to her shoulder and cheek, a quiet good morning, and a cup of warm lemon water for her, which will be followed by a cup of coffee once she’s physically out of bed. Then they grab a quick pre-workout snack, before they head out for their first scheduled part of their day, leaving Kaela with the very capable Ettie. Four of their six days of work, they make it back to the apartment before Kaela is up and one of them is able to go in and coax her awake, much as Scott does for Tessa in the mornings, and they have enough time to get her changed and fed before it’s time to leave her in Ettie’s very capable hands and head out for their next training session. 

By mid March they’ve solidified their music for all three of the programs they’ll be skating the following season, including their exhibition. 

Their Prince skate is a blast, all moxy and verve. There’s a genuine maturity to their skating for the first time that takes even them by surprise. They’ve had sexier programs and they’ve had heavier ones, but Tessa can look back and see that while they had a brilliance and energy to them, they were often colored by a manic edge of youth. When she watches them now she can feel how young they actually were leap out at her. 

With Prince, they’ve settled into themselves in a way that has given them this rock solid foundation and power on which to build their movement. There’s nothing shakey or frantic for them now and it’s an amazing feeling. 

Which isn’t to say that the learning isn’t full of mistakes and frustration. It is. 

“God damnit,” Scott mutters when he misses a cue on a new lift, two weeks into their practices. He makes an exaggerated grimacing face at her and shakes his head, letting her know with a look that his frustration is with himself, not with her. 

Tessa stares at him for a few moments before making a decision. As he sighs she skates up to him and brings his hand to her lips and presses three quick kisses to his knuckles. “Breathe, babe,” she tells him with a wink, before pulling away and getting back into position. Scott skates to his starting position, nods at her and they start over.

It takes two more tries and an adjustment of his hand position as he guides her into the lift, but after that they nail it more often than they don’t. 

“I didn’t think I’d like it,” Scott says when they’re snuggled up on the couch later that night. Kaela is playing with her toys on the floor, whispering to her stuffed animals and stopping to snuggle them every few minutes, a sure sign that she’s getting sleepy. 

“Hmm?” Tessa hums, not looking up from the article she’s reading on her tablet. 

“Today at practice. When you kissed my hands and called me babe in front of our coaches. I thought I wanted to keep that part of us off the ice, but I enjoyed it and it gave me energy and grounded me at the same time. Helped me focus,” he says, pressing a kiss to her hair with the easy affection he’s always given her. 

Tessa has to laugh softly at what he’s said. Scott is usually so good at seeing what’s in front of him but there is one part of their skating lives that he’s seemed oblivious to the whole time. Scott has always been openly affectionate with Tessa on the ice. Way before they were a couple he would kiss her cheek or her temple, and he would frequently touch her face and shoulder and back in ways that are more caress than anything else. A little less so during practices at their home rink than practices at a competition, but he’s always set his boundaries between on ice and off ice, rather than in program and out of program like most of the other teams around them do. 

Tessa has been a lot more meticulous about how and when she shows her affection. She’s rarely minded his ease with her body or how quick he always is to comfort and reassure her with a kiss or a hug, but she hasn’t reciprocated and he’s never actually seemed to notice. 

“I’ve never felt like I could do that with you,” she says with a shrug. “You always have, though.”

“What do you mean?” he asks. 

“Whenever I’m frustrated or nervous, you’ve always kissed my hands, or pulled me into hugs, or called me by one of your sweeter nicknames for me. It’s part of how you’ve encouraged me since we were young,” she tells him. “It didn’t ever matter whether the characters we were playing were in that mindset or not, so it was just you being you.”

“But you didn’t,” he says with realization. 

“Not often, no,” she admits. “I’m good at compartmentalizing but maybe not that good. When we were skating a program I was the character, no doubt, but without the music and the intensity, the few times I did cross over, I always ended up confused. I would find myself wanting to reach out to you more, and imagining things I had no business imagining.” She shrugs unsure if she needs to say anything else. 

“And now?” he asks. His brow is furrowed so she reaches up to smooth the creases. 

“Now, if it’s helpful, I would like to be able to,” she admits. “I don’t want to flaunt our love life in front of others, but I don’t necessarily want to hide it either. And it seems my instinct now is to comfort you when you’re upset. Is that okay?” she asks, looking up at him. 

“It’s okay,” he tells her. 

She can see that he’s still apprehensive, though, so she asks, “What worries you about it?” 

“I think it might take a bit of time to adjust and if I can’t, if it ends up too distracting, I’m afraid it’ll hurt you if I ask you to stop,” he tells her after a few moment’s pause to think. 

Tessa leans up to kiss the underside of his jaw and then presses another to the hollow of his neck. 

“We’ll handle it like we handle everything these days,” she tells him. “Be honest if it isn’t working and we’ll adjust, like always. Or if you already know that it’ll be too much, you can tell me that, too.” She keeps her expression as open and honest as she can. It will take extra effort on her part to reign in the instinct now, and she honestly thinks he’ll adjust quickly to it, and even find it helpful, but she’s not going to push her affection on him if it affects him in a negative way. 

“Now that I know to expect it, we’ll see how it goes, yeah?” he answers, rubbing his hand up and down her arm. 

He looks down to where Kaela was playing and laughs. Tessa follows his gaze and sees her little girl resting on top of her stuffed puppy, eyes drooping. 

“Bedtime,” he says as he sits up and reaches for Kaela. The little girl must sense his movement because she lifts her head off the toy and smiles at them. 

“Best word I’ve heard all day,” Tessa says. God she loves sleep.

 

***

 

It’s late June and all the teams are back at Gadbois and everyone has more or less gotten used to Tessa and Scott being a part of the team. Everyone has been friendly and kind, but there is definitely an undercurrent of doubt from their future competitors that they can make it back to the top of the pile. It lights a fire under them, but doesn’t distract them.

“I was kind of hoping you guys wouldn’t be this good,” Madi tells Tessa as they sit side by side behind the boards while they wait for the junior teams to finish up. “But every time I watch you I can see you’re just as good or better than you were before. It sucks.” Madi winks at her. 

Tessa has never been good at making friends with other skaters. She was so young when they were rising the ranks and a few betrayals from competitors early on taught her that it wasn’t worth the effort or the distraction. She’s always tried to be friendly, but cooly so. 

Things are different now. She’s older and in a completely different headspace and as she looks around at the skaters at the rink all she wants is the best for them. She wants the novice and junior girls to grow up valuing their strength and poise rather than obsessing over how low the number on their scale can get. And this time around she’d like to foster some actual friendships. They won’t, and shouldn’t, come out of this besties, but she’d like to be here for her team instead of separated from the rest, up on a pedestal. 

“I can honestly say that Scott and I would absolutely love it if you kicked our asses when we’re at our best. And you and Zach have the goods. Don’t let anyone make you doubt that.”

The look Madi gives her is so vulnerable and shocked that Tessa can’t help but squeeze her hand in comfort. 

The juniors are starting their cool down so Tessa checks the laces of her skates one more time, pulls off her guards, and steps out on the ice. 

Tessa and Scott and the Americans are the only two teams on the ice this late afternoon and they still have an hour left of their ice time when Patch beckons them over with a serious face. 

“Ettie’s sister was in an accident and is in hospital. She asked if it’s okay if she brings the girls in here so she can go. She could also wait for the back up sitter.”

Tessa and Scott have done their best to not have Kaela out and about at the rink. They will go spend a few minutes with her in the playroom when there’s time and she’s at Gadbois, but they don’t parade her around the rink itself and other than the trip to and from the car, Kaela doesn’t tend to have interaction with the other skaters and staff. It’s a distinction that they think is important to keep, but not so important that they’d keep Ettie from leaving immediately. 

“If it’s okay with you, it’s okay with us,” Scott says after Tessa gives him a nod. 

“I’ll let her know,” Patch says with a nod when they give the okay. “Run that again.”

They get back to work. 

Ten minutes later Tessa sees Ettie walk into the rink with Billie-Rose, though she can only see the top of the girl’s head over the boards. She assumes Kaela is toddling with them but can’t see her from the angle she’s at and does her best to put it out of her mind unless there’s a reason she needs to intervene. 

They finish up their practice with no further distractions, though they do hear Billie laugh a few times, and Tessa is pretty sure she hears the quiet echo of her daughter’s giggle at one point when no music is playing but it just makes her smile at Scott and they continue on. 

Billie has been entertaining Kaela at the other end of the rink and Tessa and Scott have kept their voices low, so as not to alert their daughter to their presence but once Patch has given them their last instructions they start to stroke a few cool down laps around the rink, joking with Madi and Zach as they all do so. 

Scott makes a dumb joke that makes all of them, including Tessa, laugh loud and hard, and they all hear a little voice call out, “Mama?” 

Madi and Zach both make cooing noises at how cute it is and Tessa relaxes when she sees they aren’t annoyed by their daughter’s presence. 

Tessa looks up to see that Patch has picked Kaela up so she can watch her parents skate and as Kaela giggles and claps her hands when she sees them they really have no choice but to head over to her once she’s spotted them. 

“Hi buddy,” Scott says as he takes her out of Patch’s arms, kissing her cheeks and making her laugh. 

They skate around the rink a few more times, slowly now, but Scott bends over with Kaela between his legs so she can skim across the ice like she’s flying. 

It’s time to go home though, so they skate to the boards and Scott puts her down next to Billie-Rose. Kaela immediately reaches up to hold the other girl’s hand and Tessa sighs at how sweet the girls are together. 

Marie and Patch agree to watch Kaela for a few more minutes while Tessa and Scott head to separate locker rooms to shower quickly and change. 

“She has a great laugh,” Madi tells Tessa as she towels off and quickly pulls on a tank top and pair of running shorts. “She seems like a very happy kid.”

“She is a pretty happy baby,” Tessa answers, still a little apprehensive. 

“Her parents are pretty amazing, so that doesn’t surprise me,” Madi says after a moment and Tessa has to swallow down the emotion that her training mate’s words bring up. “You guys seem to be doing an excellent job.”

“Thank you,” Tessa says. She zips up her bag and smiles at Madi, doing her best to keep it genuine and light. “See you tomorrow.” 

“Bright and early,” Madi agrees wrinkling her nose. Neither of them are fans of early mornings. 

Tessa heads out and finds that Scott has already picked Kaela up from Marie’s office and they all walk out to the car together. 

***

While they make the choice to have Kate keep Kaela with her in the stands during ACI, they plan to not have her with them at any other competitions during their comeback season. 

When TSN proposes that they do a long sit down with Rod in the run up to Skate Canada 2016, they agree to the interview with a few caveats. While they’re completely uninterested in denying their daughter’s existence, they’re equally uninterested in turning a spotlight on her when she’s too little to have any say. So they give Rod two pre-approved questions about her, that will do little more than acknowledge that they’re lucky enough to have this kid that they love with all they’ve got, but anything else is off limits. There will be no video of her and there will only be one approved picture of the three of them. 

“Given everything you two have accomplished, and how much your lives have changed in the last two years, no one would have faulted you for cashing in your chips and calling it a day on your competitive careers,” Rod says in his usual bombastic way. 

“Oh but where’s the fun in that?” Tessa jokes. It has the effect of easing the tension and showcasing the quick humor that Scott is always talking about. 

“But really,” Rod insists after a laugh, “Why’d you come back?”

“We didn’t feel like we were done,” Tessa says with a shrug. “When we looked forward to 2018 and the possibility of not being in Pyeongchang for the Olympics, we just knew that we had more left in the tank.”

“And more than that,” Scott continues, “We had enough potential left to be better than ever and push ourselves further.”

They talk about representing Canada and wearing the maple leaf and the pride that comes with it, like they always have. They talk about how they’ve changed their coaching, their skating, their off-ice team, they talk about how being older and wiser and having a broader and deeper perspective might give them an edge that other teams don’t have yet. 

And then they go out and win Skate Canada. They’re not their strongest skates, both Tessa and Scott feel a bit like they’re moving against the stream and have to fight every step of the way and in the end they’re beat in the free but they eke out a win overall. They’ll take it but they know they have a lot of work to do between this competition and their next in Japan. 

“Hi, baby girl,” Tessa breathes out as she sees her daughter on the screen. Kaela is seated in Ettie’s lap, lying back against her nanny’s chest. 

“Mama!” the two-year-old cries when she hears her voice and sees her on the screen. “Daddy!” she calls out when she sees Scott sitting next to her mom. 

“Hi buddy,” Scott says and Tessa can hear how choked up he is. 

It’s the first time they’ve been away from her for more than a night and while they were competing it was was hard, but they had the anticipation and focus of their programs to distract them from missing her too much. But now that they’re done with their skates and only have the gala the next day to think about, they’re less than enthusiastic about spending another day away from her. They’ll be catching a flight out of Pearson the minute that the gala is over. There is a part of Tessa that would love nothing more than to skip the gala and head home now, but galas are a part of competition, more than that, they’re a part of doing well at a competition, and people pay money with certain expectations. It’s something they’ve factored into their plans from the get go. 

They only get five minutes of screen time with their daughter before she’s yawning and snuggling back into Ettie’s chest so they say good night with bright smiles that they’re both faking and hope that they get home early enough to snuggle her for a bit tomorrow. 

Once they’ve turned off the iPad and put everything away Tessa looks at Scott with a small smirk and says, “Competition’s over, we won, there’s no little one here and I’m exhausted as anything, but I still really, really want you right now.”

Scott huffs out a laugh as he presses his forehead against her’s for a moment before kissing her deep and wet and hungry. Tessa returns the kiss with equal passion, whimpering in disappointment when he breaks the kiss, then gasping in reaction to how his mouth and tongue feel against her neck. 

They spend most of their days touching and have gotten pretty damn good a deadening their response. It’s such a giddy, heady joy to let the floodgates open and let herself feel every brush of his fingers against her back, every kiss he presses to her sternum, and the vibration against her belly as he hums in contentment right before he goes down on her. 

Here they take their time, too sleepy to rush but too aroused to do anything but a thorough job. They end their night with her sitting in his lap, legs wrapped around him, his cock buried deep inside her, locked in a warm embrace. Her hips are canted just right to get the perfect amount of pressure against her clit as they rock themselves to completion. 

Scott pulls her with him as he lies back against the abundance of hotel pillows, arms still wrapped tight around her and face tucked into the curve of her neck. They lie there, trading gentle, loving kisses as their heart rates come back to normal and Scott has to get up to dispose of the condom. Tessa follows him into the bathroom and they both clean up quickly before finally crawling into bed and falling into a sound sleep. 

 

The gala is as much of a mess as it usually is but they muddle through and manage to laugh with their friends and flirt through Sorry and enjoy themselves as much as they can. 

But when the plane touches down in Montreal, they make their way home as quickly as possible. Tessa even has to pull Scott’s free hand into hers and lace their fingers together or his fidgeting and tapping on the wheel is going to drive her batshit. 

They only take a second to drop their luggage off in their entry way, quickly chuck their shoes and outerwear off and then race into the living room to see their kid. Kaela must have heard them because she’s already sliding off Ettie’s lap trying to get to them. Tessa reaches her first and sweeps her up into her arms, kissing every inch of her face she can reach. 

Kaela giggles and squirms in response before finally getting a chance to kiss her mama back with a smack on the lips. 

“Oh Kaela Joy! I missed you so much,” Tessa tells her as she holds her close and breathes her in. 

She looks up to see Scott smiling at them and jerks her head in a “Come over here” motion and he immediately pulls both of them into a big hug, turning his head so he can blow a raspberry against Kaela’s cheek. “Daddy!” she shrieks with a laugh. “It tickles!”

“Oh sorry, buddy. I just missed you so much,” he tells her as Tessa lets him pull Kaela into his arms. Kaela gladly moves from the warmth of her mom’s hug into equal comfort of her dad’s. She throws her small arms around her Scott neck and squeezes tight as Scott cradles her head against his shoulder and tells her he loves her. 

Ettie slips out quietly and Tessa is once again insanely grateful for this woman who helps their daughter feel loved and safe and happy. 

It takes a few extra minutes for Kaela to calm down enough that they can get her down for bed. As they hang out on their bed and listen to her tell them about her day, with her small voice and limited words, Tessa notices that Kaela has taken hold of both their shirts in a tight grip. Her face crumples and she has to swallow back a little sob when she realizes just how much Kaela missed them but is in equal awe at how well she handled the separation. In the end they let her snuggle with them on their bed until her eyes are drooping and her tiny hands start to go slack. 

Tessa goes over a modified version of her morning affirmations with Kaela finishing with, “You are you, Kaela Joy and that’s the best thing you did all day. Mama loves you.” 

Unlike usual, Kaela doesn’t answer back because she’s already fallen asleep. 

 

At the beginning of November they get the call from Dominick at B2ten, letting him know that the board has approved their funding. It’s a relief and another boost to their confidence that the team of professionals they’ve been working with for months have agreed to back them in such a concrete and helpful way. It stirs a determination inside of them that spurs them on through the hard days and they are extremely grateful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, D & C were rockstars at both motivating me to write this and whipping it into shape. Thank you, thank you! 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks to C and D for their hand holding, fixing, editing, cheerleading and general awesomeness. 
> 
> This chapter spans from just before NHK 2016 to the end of 2016 and is the longest one in this story. Hurt/Comfort is definitely in play.

Saying goodbye to their kid when they head for Japan was always going to be hard. Scott getting devastating news about about one of his good friends and having to leave two days early to say goodbye in BC makes it that much harder. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you? We can both fly out together,” Tessa tells him. Her mom is already in Montreal planning to stay with Kaela and tag team her care with Ettie. 

“Want and should are different things, T. I will always want you with me, but we’re already going to be spending too much time away from her over the next three weeks. I’ll be okay,” he tells her, but his voice is rougher than she’s heard it in a long time and she pulls him into another hug that she hopes is comforting. 

“I don’t want you to have to do this alone,” she murmurs. 

“The guys will be there with me,” Scott reassures her. It’s not the same, but it feels fitting. He gets the alert on his phone saying his ride to the airport is five minutes away and he swallows hard and wipes the last of his tears away. He holds Tessa’s hand like he’s scared she’ll be whisked away at any moment as he walks into the living room where Kaela is sitting snuggled up to her Nana, showing her her favorite doll and stuffed puppy. 

“Hey buddy,” Scott says as he swings Kaela up into his arms, “You’re the best girl, yeah?” he kisses her cheek as she throws her arms around his neck. 

“Yep,” she agrees. “I’m the best!” she repeats as she smacks a kiss against his cheek. 

“I have to go to BC and then to Japan, okay?” he tells her with a slight hitch in his words. “But I’ll be back in nine days and you are going to have so much fun with your Nana and Ettie and Billie,” Scott promises her. They always say the separation is harder for the parent than the kid and damn if Tessa doesn’t believe it. She can see how much he doesn’t want to let go and face the next few days. 

It seems as if Kaela can sense her dad’s sadness because she pulls back from the hug and touches his face for a second, before hugging him tight again. 

“I love you, buddy,” Scott says with one more squeeze. 

“Love you, Daddy,” Kaela whispers to him. 

His phone buzzes in his pocket again and Tessa watches as he squeezes his eyes shut and then sets Kaela back down on the couch. 

Tessa helps him take his bags out to the car and then pulls him into a long hug that she hopes is fortifying. 

“I’ll have my phone on,” she promises him. 

“I’ll text you when I get there, but you need to sleep,” he says as he tucks her hair behind her ear. 

“It’ll be on,” is all she says. “I’ll meet you in Vancouver,” she reminds him. 

She pulls back from the hug, knowing she needs to let him go, but he takes her face in his hands and just stares down into her eyes. Tessa does her best to pour all her love and admiration and comfort into her gaze and after a long moment has passed, Scott bends his head to kiss her firmly on the mouth, and then one more light kiss before whispering his love against her lips, then turning and climbing into the waiting car. 

 

A day and a half later when Tessa says goodbye to her daughter, Kaela is a little more apprehensive and much more clingy. While she had no clue when Scott left just how long he’d be gone, going two nights without her dad has set her on edge and she cries and clings to Tessa the whole time she’s saying goodbye. 

“Oh baby, you’re okay,” Tessa says into her daughter’s wild hair as she tries to tell her goodbye. “Mama and Daddy will be back so soon,” she assures her. And she knows that for Kaela it will feel like forever as it’s happening and then like the separation didn’t happen at all when they’re all on the other side of it. 

“But where’d Daddy go?” Kaela wails as she holds onto her mom and cries into Tessa’s chest. 

“Daddy is in BC, baby, and then Mama is gonna go see him and we’re going to Japan and then a few more sleeps and we’ll be back here with you,” Tessa tells her, doing her best to keep her voice calm and even even as her heart is breaking. 

“Kaela go with you?” Kaela asks as she peeks up. Her face is red and tear-streaked and her breathing ragged and hiccup filled. 

“Not this time, baby,” Tessa tells her as she brushes her daughter’s hair out of her face and wipes her tears away with her thumbs. “You’re staying with Nana and Ettie, and you’ll get to play with Billie tomorrow and I think Nana said something about baking cookies,” Tessa tells her as she puts on an excited face, all wide eyes and fake mischief. 

She needs to go if she’s going to make her flight. So she hugs her daughter one more time and looks up at Kate with a pleading look and Kate takes her cue. 

“We’re gonna have so much fun, Kaela Joy,” she says as she takes Kaela from Tessa’s arms. Kaela resists for a second, and lets out a little sob before turning to her Nana and clinging to her. 

It takes everything in her for Tessa to kiss her daughter’s hair, tell her she loves her and walk out the door. The only thing that keeps her focused on the task at hand is the fact that her devastated partner is waiting for her in Vancouver. 

She has to run to make her flight, but manages to get to her gate before they call for final boarding. She does her best to smile and look pleasant as she finds her seat and nods in Patch and Romain’s direction but otherwise doesn’t acknowledge the rest of the team scattered about the plane. She purposefully doesn’t allow herself to catch Patrice’s eye because they are in public and she’s tired enough that any compassion from him is bound to make her tear up right now so she gets comfortable in her seat, puts her headphones in and pretends to sleep the rest of the flight, wondering the entire time how they’re gonna make it through the week. 

Tessa takes one look at Scott when she sees him waiting at their gate in Vancouver and she wants to throw up. Instead she takes him by the hand and pulls him into a family bathroom, locks the door, and lets him crumple in her arms. He doesn’t cry, and she isn’t sure what to make of that, but he breathes like he’s sobbing and she runs her hands through his hair and up and down his back in a soothing motion. They both know they can’t stay in here for too long, so it only takes him a few moments to regain his composure and hug her back. She kisses him hello and they take another second to make sure they’re composed enough to be seen in public, and then they head out of the bathroom as confident as they can. 

The team gives them space, which they’re grateful for, and they both sleep on the plane, though it’s a little more fitful than usual. 

He gets the heart wrenching news that his friend has passed when they land and she’s with him as he falls apart in their hotel room and then watches with pride and awe at how he pulls himself up, keeps himself together, and is kind and gracious with everyone he comes into contact. Only she and their coaches know the extent of what he’s going through, the rest of the world is blissfully unaware. 

They easily win both their segments and they smile through it all. 

It’s a complete and utter painful blur. 

They debate whether they need to change their final flight and head straight to London but in the end all Scott wants to do is hold his daughter. Whatever will get him that fastest is what he wants and needs, so they head to Montreal first. 

Kaela’s asleep when they land but neither of them care. Tessa gingerly gathers the sleeping toddler in her arms and brings her to their bed for the night. Scott pulls them both into his arms and breathes them in and they sleep like that until after dawn. 

 

The next two weeks pass in a fog and way too soon they’re leaving their daughter behind again and on a plane to France. Tessa can tell that Scott is in full shut down mode and she doesn’t try to coax him out of it. 

He’s absolutely focused when they’re on the ice. When they’re in groups he’s quieter than normal, but does a decent enough job acting his usual part of the grown-up jokester. He gives excellent answers to the press and none of their competitors should have a clue how wrecked he actually is, but when they’re alone he sleeps a lot and doesn’t talk much. 

He does his best to smile when they talk to Kaela on video chat every day but the chats don’t seem to help him in the end. Tessa knows he just needs to grieve. Their third day in France and the first day of competition, they finish their Prince program and she’s happy to see that, for this moment, with the adrenalin from a great skate running through him, he’s excited and in the moment. His lighter spirits carry through the mix zone and though he’s obviously coming down from the high at the press conference, he handles it as well as ever. They get an early dinner and head back to their hotel to talk to their parents and Kaela and hopefully get a full night’s rest. This year has been exhausting to say the least and Tessa is more than ready to get home, spend the holidays with their families, and then find some semblance of a routine between getting back to Montreal and heading to Ottawa for Nationals. 

On the iPad screen, Kaela is being sweet, but is visibly sleepy and she has those deep, dark circles under her eyes that she sometimes get when her allergies are acting up. Her nose is obviously stuffy, too, making her adorable voice even more cute, even as Tessa’s mama heart sinks at the idea of her baby not feeling well while they’re half a world away. The little girl falls asleep on Joe’s lap as they talk and Scott asks, “Is she doing okay?”

Tessa watches as Scott clenches his hands and jaw so she runs her hand up and down his back in an attempt to soothe him. 

“She’ll be fine. Just the sniffles. She’s slept through the night so it’s not affecting her sleep,” Alma tells them, her tone matter of fact. 

_Yet._ Tessa thinks. If Kaela has the sniffles now the chances of it turning into a miserable, but relatively harmless cold is likely. She hopes she’s wrong. 

Scott is back to being subdued after their talk with the family and all Tessa can do is pull him into her arms once they’re ready for bed and hope they both are exhausted enough to sleep at least six hours. 

When she wakes up Scott is still in bed, which is definitely odd. He’s awake, though, looking down at her as he brushes her hair off her face and presses a kiss to her forehead. 

“G’morning,” she croaks out before lifting up to kiss him on the jaw and then burying her face in is chest as she slowly wakes. She feels him press a kiss to the top of her head and can’t help but sigh at how quiet he’s been. It breaks her heart that he’s hurting this much. 

As if sensing her sadness, Scott tightens his embrace and tucks his head in close to her’s and tells her, “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Tess,” he pauses and rubs his hands up and down her back. “You know exactly what I need and you give it to me. Don’t doubt that. There’s not a damn thing you need to be doing differently, love.”

And just like that a knot of tension and anxiety releases from her gut and she sighs out in relief. She didn’t even know she was that worried about this, but she must have been with how reassuring his words are.

“I love you,” she tells him and he smiles down at her. 

They win their first Grand Prix Final and it’s a decent way to end the year but they are both tired and exhausted and twenty minutes before the press conference, Scott checks his phone and makes a face. 

“Joe texted three times in the last two hours,” he tells Tessa as he taps out a text back to his dad. His phone rings immediately and Scott pulls Tessa into a small, quieter hallway while he answers and puts the phone on speaker. 

“Hey Scott, congratulations,” Joe says, but Scott can hear both weariness and wariness in his voice. 

“Thanks. What’s up?” he cuts to the chase. 

“Now we don’t want you two to worry, but we thought you should know now that you’re skate is over, that Kaela is definitely sick. The doc thinks it’s just a bad cold and gave us some things to do to keep her comfortable but she had a rougher time sleeping than normal,” he admits. 

“Is she there?” Tessa asks, a whole new knot of anxiety and sadness churning away in her stomach. 

“She’s sleeping right now. It seems to help when one of us holds her and she can sleep upright,” Joe tells them. 

“What are they saying she needs right now?” Scott asks. “And should we try and change our flight to the morning? We can skip the gala.”

“No, no,” Joe says with a laugh. “They say it’s just a bad cold. Nothing three grandparents with experience raising seven kids can’t handle. We just thought you’d want to know and we just got back from the doctor. We didn’t tell you earlier because we didn’t have answers till now and there wasn’t anything you could do from there.”

Tess is about to answer when someone working the event ducks into the hallway, spots them, and motions to her watch letting them know it’s time for them to get to the press conference. Scott nods at her and holds up his index finger so she’ll now they’ll be just a second. They firmly tell Joe that they would like to be kept up to date from now on of any changes and thank him for taking care of her. 

“Even sick she’s still the sweetest thing,” Joe says with a chuckle before assuring him they’ll call if there are any changes for the worse. 

They hang up the phone and Scott pulls Tessa into a long, ridiculously tight hug and she can feel the frustration flowing out of him. It’s so intense that it’s almost anger. 

“She’s with people who love her and she’s fine,” he says as he pulls back and cups her face in his hands before brushing a few tears from her cheeks. 

It’s only then that Tessa realizes that she’s been crying. 

“I knew this was going to be hard, but this is _so_ hard,” she admits, something she rarely says out loud. 

“It is, but you’re doing amazing,” he tells her. 

The worker who came looking for them earlier comes around the corner again and seeing them looking so tense just sort of stands there at the entrance of the hallway and waits, probably believing she’s giving them sufficient privacy but pretty much failing. 

“Okay,” Tessa breathes out. “Let’s go do this.”

They walk to the press room hand in hand, a rarity for them in public hallways but as soon as they enter the room they pull apart and let the coordinator do their thing. 

Scott gets a little chirpy with the journalists a few times and Tessa is working too hard keeping her own smile and lightness intact to soothe him enough to pull him out of it, but Guillaume and Alex actually do a decent job of backing Scott up on some of the more frustrating questions, so that helps. 

They let Marie and Romain take them out for a celebratory dinner, since they did manage to clinch the last title they were missing, but Tessa barely tastes her food and keeps looking at her phone every five minutes. She tries to tell herself it’s just a cold and her baby is fine, but not being able to see and talk to her, or more, not being able to hold her and tend to her while she’s feeling bad enough that her grandparents have taken her to the doctor just feels incredibly shitty. They’ve been lucky up until this point that Kaela has been a healthy kid and she’s never been sick while they’ve been gone. 

They’re almost done with their meal when Scott’s phone lights up and he opens the message. 

It’s a video of Kaela, head laying on her Gramma’s shoulder, waving to them. 

They show Marie and Romain who make the proper noises indicating that it’s adorable, but Marie waves them away, saying “Go. She’s awake and it will be good to talk to her. We’ve got this.”

They say their goodbyes quicker than they normally would and head up to their room. 

She sounds horrible. And she starts crying and asking for them to come home as soon as she sees their faces. Scott already has his laptop up and on his lap looking to see if they can leave tonight or early in the morning. 

“You have the gala,” Alma reminds them. 

“We can skip the gala,” Scott says as he cocks his head and looks at Tessa. 

“If we can get flights that get us home significantly sooner than our flight tomorrow night, we should try,” Tessa agrees. She just wants to get back to her baby. She looks over at his computer and sighs when she sees that most of the flights they could take in the next twelve hours will barely get them home a few hours earlier than normal. They keep scrolling

“Everyone is going to take notice,” Alma warns. 

“Do we care?” Scott asks Tessa. His question is genuine but it’s obvious he doesn’t. Those who are rooting for them are fewer and farther between than the public could even guess. They are swimming against the tide and are relying on their extra months of rehearsal with these programs to keep punching through with their stellar programs and excellent performances. 

“I don’t want all the time we’ve already missed with her to be in vain, but people have to skip galas all the time. If we find tickets that make it worth it, we should go ahead and go home.”

“Let us know what you find out,” Alma says. 

“Please, please tell us if she gets worse or things change,” Tessa implores. 

“We will.” 

They search high and low but the flights that are leaving early seem to be with airlines that need to make several stops and the more direct flights that still have seats on them will still only get them there a few hours earlier. In the end, it doesn’t seem worth the cost to get home only three hours earlier. 

It’s quiet in the hotel room and neither of them feel like watching a movie. They change into their pajamas and get ready for bed. Tessa immediate climbs under the covers and into Scott’s arms. 

She must be squeezing him tight because Scott chuckles a little and asks, “You trying to burrow yourself into me?”

“I want to be as close to you as I can get right now,” Tessa answers honestly. She feels like she’s about to come apart and the only thing keeping her from trying to fling herself across the ocean to her kid is Scott’s arms tethering her here. 

“Hey,” Scott says, shushing her gently, “I’ve got you.”

“Don’t let me go,” she begs, even though she knows he won’t. 

“Not a chance, T,” he says as he dips his head and kisses her. It’s long and a little desperate but Tessa finally feels like maybe she’s anchored. 

So she kisses him more, opening up to him in a way she hasn’t in what feels like months, but has only been a few weeks. “Please,” she asks, pleading for him to want this closeness as bad as she needs it right now. 

They kiss and touch as they take turns taking off items of clothing. He knows that she’s far from ready to take him so he takes his time kissing and licking and touching. He nips at the place on her hip he discovered a few months ago that makes her gasp and hum. His mouth and tongue tease the sensitive skin of her inner thighs and he gently grazes her vulva with his teeth before properly eating her out. She clutches his head to her and clenches her jaw to keep from crying out when he slips first one and then two fingers inside her as he flicks her clit with his tongue. 

He has to work to make her come in a way that he typically doesn’t need to, but it’s happened often enough that he’s assured her in the past he enjoys the process of finding new ways to get her past whatever’s got her distracted. But when he uses uses his left hand to hold her pelvis down and reaches deep inside, hooking his fingers against her upper walls and sucks on her clit with the perfect amount of pressure, she comes with a muffled keening as she holds his hair in a death grip with one hand and throws her other arm over her mouth in hopes of stifling any sound that will escape. 

He runs his fingers over her belly and thighs as she comes down, and then kisses his way up her abdomen and sternum till she feels his breath on her face and opens her eyes. He smiles at her, though it’s nowhere near as cocky or confident as it usually is. She reaches up to run her thumbs along his brow before stretching over so she can grab a condom from her bag at the side of the bed. He anchors her hips so she doesn’t fall and when she has trouble finding what she’s looking for, uses his extra inches in height to slip his hand into the inside pocket and pull one out, taking a few moments to kiss her shoulders and her upper arm since they’ve been exposed by her slightly twisted position. 

Scott puts on the condom quickly and with little fanfare other than a pause at her entrance and a raised eyebrow asking for confirmation, which she gives, he’s pushing inside of her. It feels good, of course, but more than that it feels like coming home.

Tessa tugs on his shoulders and before long he’s got his face buried in her neck and she has her legs and arms wrapped around him and all she knows in this moment is that she loves him so much and she just wants him to feel good. 

It doesn’t take long for him to get close, it never does once he’s gone down on her, and she knows that coming once is likely all she can handle tonight, her nerves still so raw and her anxiety too high, so she sucks on the spot just below his ear and tugs on his hair and encouragingly murmurs, “Come, love. I’ve got you.”

It only takes a few more thrusts and he finds his climax, groaning out her name as he falls over the edge. 

When he has his wits about him a moment later, he rolls over on his back, bringing her with him so they can regulate their heart rates and catch their breath before they clean up and then meet back in bed to fall asleep. 

They get a text at 3:00am that Kaela is having a hard time sleeping and they’re going to try the old stand by of a steaming shower and some vapo-rub. They get another text at 4:00am that she was able to fall asleep and they would update them in the morning. 

They wake up and see that Kaela still isn’t feeling well but there hasn’t been too much change and they were going to try a steam bath again. All through gala rehearsal both of them are on edge but do their best to stay focused and enjoy their first gala as Grand Prix Final champions. They try and give an enthusiastic performance but either the audience can tell they aren’t in it, or the French crowd is a little disappointed that the home team lost to them because the response is polite but more subdued than they’re used to. It wouldn’t even register if they didn’t skate right after Yuzu. 

They get a call as they get settled in the private lounge for the 30 minutes they have to wait before boarding. It’s not good. 

“We thought about waiting to tell you until you land, but we all agreed that we would want to know. We brought Kaela to the emergency room and she’s being evaluated now. Kate checked and you should have wifi on your flight so we will be able to keep you updated or we might have waited. Hopefully all she’ll need is some medicine to open up her airways a little more and maybe some antibiotics,” Joe lays it all out there. Tessa can tell that he’s giving them all the information he has but she has so many questions. 

“Is she so scared?” she asks. She wants to throw up or throw something or just be home so she can hold her baby, hospital bed or not. She can’t get the image of her daughter, terrified and bewildered and just wanting her parents and to be able to breathe out of her head. 

“She’s a little out of it right now,” Joe admits. And that just scares Tessa more. “They gave her a bit of a sedative to help her calm down.”

“Oh God,” Tessa whispers. She’s going to throw up. It’s almost unavoidable now. 

“Okay,” Scott says. “Thank you for telling us and just keep telling her we’re coming and we love her and let us know if anything changes.”

“We will. Just remember that we all love her, she’s being taken care of by great doctors and is getting the medication and treatment she needs. She’ll be back to fighting form in no time,” Joe assures him. 

“Would we be able to do a video chat with her real quick?” Scott asks. 

“We probably could but she’s still in a bit of distress and while seeing you might calm her down, it also might get her worked up again,” Joe says apologetically, but he’s right. They shouldn’t chance confusing her or making her more desperate for them. Their voices might reassure her but more likely what she needs is their physical presence, not a hard phone and images of her parents that she can’t touch. 

“You’re right,” Tessa admits. “But maybe you can send us some pictures or video?” It will break her heart, but seeing her daughter breathing and alive feels incredibly important right now. 

“I’ll do my best, sweetheart,” Joe agrees. 

Their crew announces that pre-boarding will start in the next few minutes, but they assure Joe that they’ll have their phones on until the last possible second and connect to the onboard wifi as soon as they’re allowed. 

It’s the worst flight of either of their lives, and they’ve had some shitty ones. They get a few pictures and one, too short, video of their baby with a breathing treatment mask on. It’s actually Charlie who is sitting back in the partially reclined bed with Kaela in his lap and Tessa wonders if Kaela chose him because he reminds her most of Scott or if some other logistical reason has him in that position. 

Neither of them manage to get any sleep but they stay curled up with each other for most of the flight anyway. They can see that there’s a two hour delay for their flight from Toronto to London so they message their parents that they’ll likely get a rental car and drive instead since the weather isn’t too bad. As they use the onboard wifi to see what they can arrange as far as transportation, they get a message from Jordan saying she’ll pick them up and drive them straight to the hospital in London, which is a huge relief since both of them are going to be sleep deprived and anxious without having to focus on driving home. 

Tessa can feel the slow crawl of every second as it passes. Her skin feels like it’s too tight and she’s afraid she might burst right out of it. She clings to Scott and he holds onto her and she’s pretty sure they both grind a good portion of the enamel off their teeth with how tight their jaws are. 

They both attempt to walk the length of the plane a few times but Tessa, at least, feels a thousand times more anxious when she’s away from him so whatever relief the ability to stretch her legs and get her circulation flowing gives her, it’s overwhelmed by the need to get back to where she can see and touch him and know that _someone_ in her family is healthy and breathing. 

The only real update that they get is that Kaela’s oxygen sats are still too low and she’s being admitted. As horrible as that may be, Tessa’s a little bit relieved that she’ll be surrounded by medical staff and have quick access to any treatment she needs. 

They land and deplane and get their baggage all of which happens at the usual sedate pace and Tessa has to swallow down the urge to scream at the people ahead of them. Scott holds her hand until they’re through to baggage claim and they both have too many bags to carry. 

“We’re almost there, Tess. Just a little bit longer,” he encourages her. 

Jordan pulls up at the curb just as they’re walking out and immediately hops out and pulls Tessa into a hug while Scott gets their ridiculous amount of bags loaded into the SUV. Jordan lets go of Tessa long enough to give Scott a quick hug and then they’re on the road to London. 

Jordan drives them straight to the hospital and drops them off at the door promising to meet them up in their daughter’s room. 

The first thing Tessa notes is just how tiny she looks as she lays propped up in the bed. From the door she can see how much she’s struggling to breathe, even as she has a breathing treatment mask on which is easing the worst of her troubles. That this is better than she had been doing when they first got her to the hospital is horrifying. She doesn’t say hi to any of their parents, but instead crawls onto the bed, sliding under the various wires and tubes so she can hold her daughter. 

“Hey baby,” Tess says as she brushes her daughter’s sweaty curls off her forehead, “I’m here, sweet girl. Daddy and I are here now.”

Kaela looks up at her mom, eyes glassy, and then clutches onto her mom’s jacket tightly. She tries to tuck her face into her mom’s chest but the mask - Tessa can now see it has little fishes painted on the sides - gets in the way and Kaela reaches up to try and take it off. 

“Oh no, baby,” Tessa says gently as she takes Kaela’s hands in hers. “You need to keep that on.” 

Kaela shakes her head vigorously and then starts to cough. The coughing fit grows until it’s violent enough that Kaela starts to gag and Alma immediately grabs the emesis basin and holds it at the ready and Tessa realizes that Kaela’s made herself throw up from the crying and extra mucus that’s built up and it’s happened a few times already. 

“Kaela Joy,” Scott says firmly, much like he does when she throws one of her rare tantrums. It’s just enough to get her to freeze as usual and look up at him. “We’re here, buddy. We’re here,” he tells her, still firm but more soothing now as he takes one of her fists in his hand and works his finger into it so she’s holding onto it. “You have to keep the mask on,” he says as he touches the clear plastic with his other hand and then continues, “It’s helping, buddy.”

Scott holds their joined hands so they’re resting on his chest and deliberately breathes deep and slow. Tessa watches and matches his pace as she takes Kaela’s other hand in hers, though from her position behind her daughter, she can only let her cling as tight as she can. Kaela can’t match their pace, her lungs just aren’t moving enough air to breathe that slowly, but it does seem to help her calm down a little, just as her nurse comes in to find out what’s happening with her patient’s vitals. 

By the time she checks the monitors, sees that the little girl’s parents have arrived and that Kaela is relaxed against her mom’s chest and breathing at a fast but steady rate, and her sats have started climbing back up to where they were in the middle of the treatment, she lets them know that she’ll be just outside the door, and will come back once the treatment is over. She also strongly encourages them to use the call button if they need anything. 

Kaela stays in the hospital for three more days. 

They opt to stay in London until after Christmas. It’s far from ideal for their training as they expected to get in a week and a half more time with their team than they end up with, but traveling to Montreal before Kaela is healthy is out of the question and the thought leaving her behind just so they can train is even more absurd. 

“You do what you can,” Patch tells them in his usual matter-of-fact manner. “You do what you can and the rest falls as it falls.” 

Once Kaela’s able to sleep through the night again, four days before Christmas, their parents convince them to go to the rink and at least get moving again. 

“I’d tell you to go for a run if you were Danny or Charlie, or go find a pick up game, but it’s you two and you might as well shake off the rust by skating,” Joe says with a shrug. He’s got a point. Both of them are feeling stiff and antsy and the at home yoga and pilates, bodyweight workouts and quick jogs around the neighborhood aren’t enough for them to get all their pent up energy out. 

That first day they only skate for an hour, mostly doing drills and footwork, focusing on keeping their form as they stroke and glide. They do some interval work to try and get their engines back in form again but it’s predictably rough. 

It’s hard, but a little better the next day, and they get three hours on the ice and an hour or so of at home work, even managing to do some video calls with their whole team as they update them on what’s happening and what they can and cannot do at the moment. Everyone is understanding and encouraging, but both of them know that will only last so long. 

Tessa’s mantra for the rest of the year switches to, “You do what you can,” promising that it will be everything she can, but only when her daughter is okay. The last thing that will help anyone, least of all Kaela, is for her to get sick again. 

But she’s getting better, and honestly, by Christmas Eve, the little one is pretty much back to herself, with only a lingering little cough that’s getting better every day. They still opt to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day quietly at their house in London instead of at Kate’s or the elder Moir’s. The risk of Kaela catching another ugly virus while her immune system is down is too high. 

They are able to get as much ice time as they please while the arena in Ilderton is closed for the holidays. The day after Christmas Scott lets them into the arena and they quickly get warmed up. As has become their routine here away from Montreal, they mostly do some edge and stroking exercises, things to hone their skills a little more and to get their heart rates up. They run through their step sequences for Prince, and work through the pattern.

Then they run through Latch from top to bottom, and while it’s a bit of a struggle at the end, Scott makes Tessa smile by singing all the words directly to her. It’s not a huge change - he always sings the words - but this time, with just the two of them there, it feels like he’s telling her their story rather than just singing a song they’ve heard a thousand times in the last eight months. It’s been a ridiculously hard go the last five weeks and there have been times when Tessa thought that they’d be insane to keep on this path. That it might just be too hard and not worth all the pain and sacrifice. But through it all she’s looked at him, even as he’s carried the bulk of that pain, and she’s realized that this is exactly what they both need right now. What they still need.

As Tessa tucks in and tightens her core for the last stationary lift, she smiles as, even from his crouched position, Scott is still crooning away. They end, as they have for the last month or so, with his head on her chest, both of them sucking in air, when she hears him rumble it against her chest. 

“Marry me?” he asks.

Tessa’s hand tightens in his hair as she pulls his head up so she can look at him. She’s so shocked that her feet go out from under her and she has to lean forward so she lands seated instead of on her back. Scott’s head is still in her hands and he’s now sprawled across her lap. 

“What?” she mutters as she tugs his hair a little more tightly so she can look him square in the face.

Scott looks up at her with a sweet but serious smile and strokes the pads of his fingers down the side her face for a moment before sitting up and taking her hands in his. The ice is cold but Tessa can barely feel it. “Tess, I love our life. It’s hard and it’s exhausting but it’s amazing and if this is the way we stay forever -- because marriage or not, this is forever -- it would be better than okay. But I wanna marry you, if that's something you think you’d want, too.”

Tessa cradles his face in her hands and kisses him tenderly, pouring all her emotion into the connection between them. “Of course I’m going to marry you, Scott,” she answers against his mouth. “Of course.”

He laughs and hugs her to him and tucks his head into the cradle between her neck and shoulder and she can feel his tears on her skin. Hell, she’s got more than enough of her own tears streaming down her face. She lets him hide there in her assurance for a few more moments before pulling back to look at him. 

For the first time in what feels like forever he looks happy in the unbridled way she’s used to seeing him and it’s so full of joy and love that she can’t help but kiss him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> As always you can find me at peacefulboo on tumblr, though please send asks about this and other VM fic to boo-writes-stuff! I appreciate getting them so much but I won't publish them at peacefulboo. And because I'm a fucking internet junkie, I'm also on twitter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the usual suspects for all your work on this! Imma go sleep now.

They get back to Montreal and the pre-Nationals grind on New Year’s Day. Tessa is both reassured and a touch jealous to see how happy her daughter is to see Ettie, but the woman’s kind and patient way with her wins out and she settles on being glad her daughter is and feels safe and cared for when she’s away from her parents. 

Being away from her all day proves much more difficult for Tessa. When she’s skating, she does pretty well. She’s able to keep focused on the task at hand, able to concentrate on the tweaks that their team have for them, but it’s not very enjoyable. 

“Is it always like this, this time of the season?” she asks Scott as they change and get ready to head home. 

“January?” he asks with a quirked eyebrow. 

“Yeah,” she confirms. She can’t really remember. 

“It’s a total slog. Always is. We both regularly think we should throw in the towel in January,” he says with a a shrug. 

She vaguely remembers this, but mostly she just trusts that he knows. 

“It gets better at Nationals,” he reassures her, reaching out to give her shoulder a squeeze. “We just have to put our heads down and get through it.”

“So it’s not just what happened with Kaela?” she asks. 

“No,” he tells her as he sits down in front of her and takes her hands. “But it’s maybe a little harder this time to see the point,” he admits. 

“Yeah,” she agrees. 

It’s a question that’s run through her mind over and over the last few weeks. _Why are we doing this?_ Why are they losing time with their kid and working so damn hard for a sport? Is it worth it?

“You ready to admit that to JF?” he asks as he plays with her fingers. 

He knows her so well. Knows that as she’s been thinking through the question herself and refusing to admit her ambivalence to others, she’s avoided talking about it to their mental prep coach. Because admitting that she has doubts at all feels like failure. 

“You feel it, too?” she asks. 

“Of course,” he tells her with a sad smile. 

His answer both reassures and scares her. 

Honestly, if she could just feel one thing at a time sometime soon, she’d really appreciate that. 

“Maybe after Nationals?” she proposes. She thinks if she tries to unpack her doubt now there’s a good chance this is all going to unravel and with a week until Ottawa, she knows she’s not ready for that kind of emotional upheaval. 

“Okay,” Scott agrees. 

 

They, unsurprisingly, win Canadians without any issues. The short is fun and the free feels lighter and better than it has since Christmas and that, combined with seeing all the flags and all the fans ignites something in Tessa that she hasn’t felt in awhile. When she looks at Scott as they take their final bows she can see it reflecting back at her in his eyes. 

It also helps that Kaela is there, in a way that she didn’t expect. Knowing that this would be as low pressure a competition as they’ll likely have until next season’s ACI, they opt to bring her. Not everyone was on board with the plan at first, but she had been able to convince everyone that they needed to see how combining parenting and competing would go in case it became a necessity in the future. Kaela still stays with her grandparents on nights before their actual competitive skates and while they’re otherwise busy fulfilling their obligations, but she stays with them the night they get there and the night between practice days and once their competitive skates are over. 

It’s not that hard. Kaela’s a chill kid who sleeps well 95 percent of the time. She handles it well, and frankly so do they. It’s easier knowing that they’re close to her and she’s close to them. 

They have Patch and Marie over the day after they all get settled back at home and lay their concerns out for them. 

“I’m having a very hard time seeing that the struggle and the time away from her right now is worth it. The day to day is fine, but it’s the competitions that are a struggle,” Tessa admits.

“How many more are left,” Marie-France asks before counting off on her fingers. “Four Continents in Korea, Worlds in Helsinki, ACI is here, Skate Canada is in Regina so at least still in Canada, we’ll see where your second assignment is in June, Grand Prix final is in Japan, Canadians in Vancouver, and then Pyeongchang.” That’s 8 more competitions, with three being in Canada, where it’s more than reasonable for you to bring her with you if you have sufficient help. You are already planning on having her brought out to Korea for the Olympics, though I believe the plan was for her to come later, yes?” 

They both nod at her. 

“So that’s about five competitions where you are either away from her for a significant amount of time, or you pay out the money to bring her and a couple of helpers with you to mind her, yes?”

“Does it even make sense to bring her with us?” 

“Neither of you are young and foolish. If you have sufficient help and still commit to fulfilling all your obligations, I don’t see it hurting you,” Patrice interjects. 

“It’s so much travel and she’s so little but not as easy to contain as she was as a baby, like she was during the tours,” Scott points out. 

“No solution is perfect. If you want it, you make it work,” Patch says as he studies them. “So then you need to know if you want it.”

Tessa is tired and she knows Scott is as well and the fatigue is making the question harder than it’s ever been, but when she thinks about quitting now she feels sick to her stomach. As she sees Scott swallow and look at her, she’s pretty sure she knows his answer but wants to check in with him first. 

Marie takes in their reticence and says, “Well then, take the day, figure out what your goals are now and know there’s no shame in adjusting them if that’s what you feel is best. But one thing before you go,” she says and makes sure they’re both looking at her before continuing. “You are the best in the world right now. If you continue to train as hard as you have been, you will continue to be the best in the world. But it’s going to be a hard fight. We all know how this works. Keep that in mind as you decide. If being the best on the day, no matter what the judges say, is a goal worth pursuing, and I believe it is, then continuing could be worth it. But if only gold will satisfy, then know the risks you’re actually taking.”

Marie has never pulled her punches and she sure as shit isn’t doing so now. Tessa gets what she’s saying crystal clear. 

“One more thing,” Patch adds. “Kids need parents who love them and are there for them, yes, but as someone who has to be away from his daughter even more than you may need to be away from yours, she still loves me and knows that I’m her Papa. She knows her mother and I work hard and must do things we both do and don’t enjoy so we can excel and she shows the same determination and diligence even though she is still small. You care about you little one and she knows and feels it. She may have fear or frustration or sadness, or even anger at times because you are gone, but if it makes you better people, stronger people, then it can make you the best parents for her. If you quit for her and resent it...no good comes of that.”

They are quiet on the ride home and spend the day with their kid. Scott fake wrestles with her and runs back and forth down the long hallway chasing her. They both do some relaxing yoga as Kaela mirrors their moves as best she can, laughing when she tumbles to the side and shrugging when she gets bored toward the end and goes and plays with some toys. They eat dinner with her and have a dance party and tell her they love her a thousand times that day. 

And once she’s asleep and snug in her bed, they climb into bed and start the hard conversation. 

“What are we doing?” Tessa asks. 

“Deciding if we’re better parents for her by being the best athletes we can be in our sport, or if we’re hurting her more by continuing,” Scott answers. 

“And what do you think the answer is?” Tessa asks, the tension in her torso tight and unyielding. 

“I don’t think I’d ever resent her if we quit, but I don’t think we’re doing damage by continuing. And if you still want it, I still want it,” he says honestly. 

“And if I don’t still want it?” She asks with a hitch in her voice. 

“Then we’re done and I make peace with it. And we live incredibly happy, hard lives anyway,” he answers as he kisses her hair. “Is that your way of saying you want to be done?”

Tessa takes a second to absorb his answer and really look into her future. She’s both surprised and not at how quickly her drive to compete kicks back in rebellion against the idea of backing down now. “No, actually. I’m not ready to be done,” she answers. 

“Okay,” he says with a bit of a smile. “And about what Marie said? How the odds will be stacked against us no matter how well we skate?” he asks. 

Tessa sighs and lays her head down in his lap. The reality stings. And pisses her off, but they said at the beginning that there may be no winning, that it may just be about the process and doing everything they can and letting the chips fall where they may. “We do what we can,” she says, shrugging her shoulders. 

“We do what we can,” Scott agrees, gently running the pads of his fingers over her cheeks. 

“And we want it enough to risk?” Tessa asks. Cause there’s a difference between wanting something and being willing to give everything for it. That’s not really a position they’re willing to be in anymore. But is what they’re willing to give -- 100 percent focus on the ice and in prep, and 100 percent focus to their family when they leave work behind -- is it enough? 

“We can be better than we are right now, and we’re the best in the world. Hands down. I want to see how amazing you can be out there, how amazing we can be together,” he says as he bends to kiss her forehead. 

“Me, too,” Tessa agrees, murmuring into his lips and then leaning up into the kiss. 

They can do this. 

 

They opt not to take Kaela with them to Four Continents because she’s doing well and it’s a little late to work out the logistics. But Alma and Joe, along with Kate were already planning on heading to Worlds in Helsinki, like they have almost every year for a decade, so they add Ettie and Kaela to the list of those traveling and needing accommodations. 

They get to Korea a day earlier than anyone else and are given access to the main rink as dusk settles the day before practices begin for any of the disciplines. The ice is pristine and the empty arena vibrates with the palpable potential waiting to be unleashed. 

“How can I have so much adrenaline pumping through me right now, and yet feel so at peace?” Tessa asks, as they walk a little ways onto the ice in their sneakers. 

“It’s still the best, right?” Scott says with a huge grin. 

“It is,” Tessa says. When they were younger, only the delicious and sickening thrill of the biggest competitions could get them this jazzed, and Tessa had been sure that nothing else would come close to bringing her this complex and satisfying combination of feelings. But now she’s felt it a few times as a mother, and a few as a lover, and she’s ridiculously thrilled to still be able to feel it as an athlete. 

As they look out at the arena and the pristine, untouched ice, Tessa puts her head on Scott’s shoulder and breathes in the frigid air. Scott puts his arm around her waist and pulls her in, resting his head against hers. After a few minutes of visualizing their programs and letting the delicious anticipation settle into their bones, Scott lifts his other hand up in front of him, forming a fist. Tessa automatically taps it with her own in a successful fist bump. 

“Best partner ever,” Scott says with a raised eyebrow and a laugh. 

“Best in the world,” Tessa responds with a wink. 

They’re able to focus on the task at hand, even after a somewhat disheartening video call with Kaela where she frowned at them, refused to say hi, and tucked her head into Ettie’s chest while Tessa and Scott gently talked to her, hoping, unsuccessfully, to coax her out of her grumpy mood. 

The truth is, she’s two and she’s fine. Some days will be like this as she grows and figures out her place in the world, but she’s healthy and taken care of and that’s enough for now. 

“Is it bad that I found it kind of cute?” Scott asks. 

Tessa chuffs and shakes her head, “Only if it’s bad that I did, too.”

“Do we need to worry about it?” he asks. 

“No. It’s hard, even as cute as it is, but it means she’s growing up and becoming a person with opinions,” she answers with a shrug. It’s funny and it hurts. Both are true. “Worrying about it right now only splits our focus in an unproductive way and makes the time away from her pointless.” It’s a reminder to herself as well as him. 

So they let themselves feel the hurt and the humor, and then they go out and skate the hell out of Prince, sleep like the dead, and skate a damn good Latch program and win another competition. 

One more down. 

 

In between the competition in Korea and Worlds in Helsinki, they decide to have a small, no fuss wedding in their backyard in London at the end of May. It’ll just be their families there. She asks Matthieu if he can create a simple top and skirt combo for her in that time, emailing him a couple of sketches of what she’s thinking of, and he lets her know that it may not be cheap, but he enjoys working with her enough that he’ll get it done. 

She isn’t going to be picky about much for this wedding, but her dress and her choice of flowers are things she cares enough about in everyday life that it seems silly to let that fall by the wayside for her wedding. Her regular florist in London is happy to work with her and can squeeze them in that weekend, since she’s not asking for a whole reception hall’s worth of flowers. Again, on short notice it’s not cheap, but the quality will be worth it. 

Scott doesn’t even blink when she tells him how much those two items will cost. He just kisses her on the shoulder and tells her he doesn’t want to see the dress until that day if they can help it. 

The family tackles the wedding in the organized and efficient way that they always do. Her mom and Alma are taking care of the catering and cake and the three brothers that live in the area graciously offer to make sure the landscaping is in shape before the day. They book a tent company for the week of the wedding in case they call for rain but cross their fingers that they’ll get clear skies and dry weather. 

 

Scott makes a few extra quick trips home in February and March, trying to get in as much time with his ailing grandfather as he can. Tessa can see this new grief compound on top of his older grief that’s just started to heal and she worries about the toll it will take when his grandfather finally passes. Again, Scott goes full out in training, the haunted look in his eyes easing a touch when he’s focused and able to pour all his frustration and sadness out onto the ice. But at home he’s quiet. 

More than once she finds him sitting in the rocker in Kaela’s room watching over her as she sleeps. 

“You okay, love?” she asks. It’s three in the morning a week before they leave for Worlds and it’s the third night this week that she’s felt him leave their bed. His eyes are dark and bloodshot, pretty much always these days, and there have been times that she feels like she’s literally keeping him standing.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he answers quietly, cocking his head to the side and smiling, crooked and sad.   
Tessa steps up to him, leaning against the side of the rocker and pulling him into her embrace. She lightly runs her nails through his hair and down his neck. She holds him there against her heart and lets him draw all the comfort he can from her touch. 

“Does it help?” she asks after a few moments. “Being in here with her?”

“She’s so blissfully unaware and peaceful,” he answers. “Sometimes it calms me enough to get back to sleep.”

“Does me being here help or would you rather I go back to bed?” She has no desire to leave him but she’ll do whatever he needs here. 

“I’m good to go back,” he answers, pressing a kiss to her sternum and holding onto her hips tight. “Thank you.”

She doesn’t ask him for what. And she doesn’t tell him no thanks are needed. These are things they both know. 

Tessa leads him back to their room. He lies back against the pillows and she settles into his arms so they’re holding each other. They don’t often sleep like this as it’s not terribly conducive to deep sleep for either of them, but days like today the comfort is more effective in coaxing them both to sleep than anything else would be. 

 

Worlds is hard. Helsinki has often been kind to them and they welcome returning once again, but the exhaustion never really goes away even after they get there. They do their best to convince Alma that she should stay in Ilderton with her family but she shakes her head and says that they need to keep living their lives and her dad, if he was lucid enough, would agree. His decline is slow and in fits and starts and there’s nothing they can do to change that, so she might as well see them skate at what, they all know, will be their last World Championships and hang out with her granddaughter while she’s at it. 

They accept her answer and they all hope it’s a decision she doesn’t regret later. 

Having Kaela with them helps more than it hurts. She’s in love with the sparkly lace on Tessa’s Prince costume, and keeps running her hand over the soft, diaphanous silk of her Latch skirt whispering that it’s, “So pretty,” now over-enunciating her t’s instead of dropping them. 

The short goes just about as well as they could hope. Honestly it goes _better_ than Tessa had hoped. It’s energetic and virtually flawless. Scott comes alive in that program in a way that Tessa has rarely seen from him on the ice. He’s always so good and into it, but he takes it up a notch for this program, and for this skate in particular, and she can’t help but feed off that energy and give it right back to him. 

They catch sight of Kaela at the end of the replays when they’re waiting for their scores, when the production team throws in the obligatory family shot. Scott gets a little crinkle in his forehead but shakes it off and Tessa just hopes whoever’s commentating is respectful enough to keep their daughter’s name out of it, but they can’t worry too much about it. They knew the risk they’d be taking when they brought her. 

They blow the competition, all the competition, out of the water in the short and both feel giddy as anything. There is relief in knowing that they can retire this program confident that they’ve skated it to its full potential. 

The press conference is actually fun for once, all three couples are in good spirits and Scott cracks jokes and makes accidental innuendo that sets Madi off on a giggle fit and for a moment Tessa truly feels the camaraderie between all six of them that has been there under the surface the whole season. She’s not foolish enough to think it will last like this, but here in this moment, it’s a comfort and a joy. 

They see their family and Kaela for an hour that evening, getting in some quality snuggle time with their girl, and then head to bed where they fall asleep easy, curled up in each other. It’s such a lovely, solid sleep for Tessa that she’s a little set on her back foot when confronted with a broody, tense Scott when they wake. 

“You okay?” she asks when he’s said hardly anything as they get ready and make their way down for breakfast. 

“Yeah,” he answers. “Weird dreams.”

By which he means bad dreams. She wishes he’d woken her, but knows why he didn’t. They don’t skate their Free till later that afternoon so she does her best to let him emerge from where ever he is in his head in his own time. 

Their morning practice goes well enough but the rest of the day drags on and though Scott becomes more talkative, much of what comes out is a little acerbic. She keeps her hold on his hand and lets him cuddle her and as the first flight of ice dancers start their warm-ups she moves through their different off-ice pre-skate routines with him, hoping the familiarity will loosen his tension a bit. 

It mostly works, and by the time they’re ready for their warm-up group, he’s nearly back to normal. Realistically, he’s skated in rougher moods and more in his head than he’s in today, so Tessa takes the lead in the encouragement department and hopes it helps him feel stronger the way it always does when he gives her his pep talks before most competitions. 

“I’m so glad we’re doing this,” she tells him. “It’s hard as anything, but we’re doing it. I love you and you’ve amazed me this past year. We just have a little more to go,” she says as she kisses his hands and pulls him into a hug. 

“ _You’re_ amazing,” is his answer as he kisses her temple. “Let’s do this.”

It’s solid as ever, smooth but weighty in all the right ways, and then, he slips. He recovers beautifully and as they turn to face each other Tessa cracks a quick joke and then they’re back in it. It’s flawless from that point on. 

Tessa knows that how you recover matters when you falter, that sometimes it can almost mitigate the error. She’s even fairly certain they’ve recovered well enough this time to win overall. She also knows, from nightmare experiences during other points in their career, that it doesn’t matter if you know this in your bones; once you’re the one to slip-up, it gets under your skin and sets a cold sweat atop the warm sweat from exertion. The insidious fingers of humiliation and guilt and frustration crawl down from the top of your scalp to the base of your spine and it’s harder than shit to smile through. 

So she’s not surprised at all when Scott’s smile is way too wide and his grip is almost painfully tight and there’s a haunted, sad look in his eyes that makes her want to spirit him away from the cameras and the lights and the bright white of the rink. She wants to take him home and comfort him in the privacy of their bedroom until he’s sure of her admiration and pride and love for him. 

For now she holds on, takes his compliments as well as she can without letting a single soul believe she’s as down on him as he is. 

They win and it’s a relief more than a joy. The season is done. They made it through, undefeated even. They’re together and they are better than they’ve ever been. 

For one second Tessa wants to scream because they can never have their victories the easy way. They are always so hard fought and wrought with imperfections and that’s a beautiful thing, but it’s also a curse. 

“Let’s go see our kid,” Scott says after their time in mix zone is over but before the press conference, which is in ten minutes. 

Kate, Alma, and Joe are close by, having been escorted behind the curtains by a Skate Canada staff member. Kaela is in Joe’s arms, her head on his shoulder as she stares warily at the passing people. It’s been a big week for her and they’re all glad that they get to go home, to London this time, soon. 

Joe spots them and whispers something at his granddaughter and her head pops up, quick as a whip. 

“Daddy!” she hollers when she sees Scott. Tess can feel the tension ease in his grip, just a little, at her small, thrilled voice. 

“Hey buddy,” he says as he doesn’t wait for even a second to pull her into his arms and hold onto her as tight as he dares. She snuggles her face into his neck and Tessa can tell that they are comforting each other so well in that moment. She gives them a full minute like that, and would give them more but Scott ducks his head to Kaela’s ear this time, looking more like Joe in that moment than ever before, and Kaela’s head comes up, this time with a happy smile as she looks for her mama. 

She reaches out her hand for Tessa but doesn’t move to leave her dad’s arms. 

“Time to cuddle, Mama,” Kaela tells her when she gets close, waving her over. 

Tessa is acutely aware that they’re in public but it’s not a request she feels capable of denying in the moment. So she slides under Scott’s free arm, hugs her daughter with one arm and Scott with the other, and presses her face against Kaela’s as Scott’s head rests against theirs. 

It’s their family’s form of the Tessa and Scott bubble. Something they’ve done more and more often since Kaela’s illness and time in the hospital. It soothes all of them and is sometimes the best part of their day and for the first time since their scores were announced and they knew they’d managed to hold onto the gold, Tessa feels like they actually won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! 
> 
> You can find me at boo-writes-stuff if you wanna talk RPF/TS and at peacefulboo, both on tumblr. If you find me on twitter, that's fine, too. ;)


	5. our love is here to stay (you are the best thing)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the usual suspects, the awesome D and C for everything. 
> 
> I did a quick read through right now but I'm legit falling asleep (the actual best time to post) so I'm hoping there aren't any glaring fuck ups in this! I own every last one of them if there are. 
> 
> Happy Valentines Day? I guess that's a thing we're embracing this year? *shrugs* (maybe i'll stop by the grocery store on my way to work tonight and get myself left over flowers. That's...nope. That's too fucking depressing. I'll read happy fic instead. ;))
> 
> This was a fun, if nerve wracking chapter to write so I hope y'all enjoy it. Let me know, yeah? 
> 
> Content warning: "canonical" (what a weird word to use in this context, but it's what I've got) death of someone who, to all public accounts, lived a long, good life. But if that's not something that you can handle feel free to skip that section. Take care of yourselves, loves!

The relief of coming home is short lived. Scott’s grandfather took a turn for the worse while they were all in Helsinki and any hope that he’d be recovered enough to make it to their wedding is futile. 

“We could have the ceremony now,” Tessa offers. Not everything is ready, but she really wouldn’t mind marrying Scott in GMac’s bedroom if it will ease some of the sadness in Scott’s eyes.

“No, love. He’s pretty much gone already,” he admits. 

He’s right about that. It only takes a few more days and his beloved grandfather is gone. Tessa always loved the old man, too, but knows it isn’t the same. In the end, Tessa holds onto Scott’s hand as the family gathers to say goodbye. She plays a support role as everyone plans for funeral and celebration of life. There is more laughter and joy as the initial grief passes and the family comes to terms with just how lucky they were to have lived their lives under the guidance of the man they all loved so much. 

The reception is almost over and Tessa finds herself wandering outside, looking for stray trash or other things that need to be tidied as the cousins and aunts and uncles all sit in the living room and reminisce. She’s surprised to find Alma sitting on the back steps looking out toward the horizon. 

Tessa sits next to the woman who has always been such a support to her over her entire life. Alma turns her head to look at her and gives her a sad smile that looks so much like Scott that she can’t help but rest her head against Alma’s and take her hand as they sit shoulder to shoulder, hoping she can give a fraction of the comfort she’s received. They don’t talk or even cry. They just watch as the sky gets darker and sit in the comforting silence as the day slips into night. 

 

They only get a few days after the funeral to breathe and then they’re in the rink adjusting their Prince program so they can skate in two Stars on Ice shows. It’s good to be back on the ice after a week off, but it also feels too soon. Tessa’s legs have started giving her grief more often, a sure sign that she’s lost focus in her training in the last few weeks without their coaches or regular trainers monitoring them.

“They doing okay?” Scott asks the morning before their show in London. Tessa has taken to vigorously rubbing her calves and doing extra stretches. It’s not that they hurt so much as there’s that tell tale ache which warns her that this is all going to go south again if she doesn’t course correct soon. 

“I’ve gotten lazy,” she says, scrunching her nose as she looks at him, resigned and frustrated. 

Scott raises his eyebrows at her in his classic, “Really?” look and shakes his head as he draws her legs up into his lap. “Pretty sure you’re the least lazy person I’ve met in my life, and I’ve met thousands of elite athletes.”

“You know what I mean,” Tessa says, because he does. She’s gotten sloppy, or at least sloppy for her. It’s part of the point of this little vacation, but she’s let it get to the point where letting go of the focus in this particular area is harmful rather than helpful. 

“We need to get back to cueing more often,” Scott says, offering one solution. They have many different cues for each other depending on what activity they’ve been doing, but neither of them have been talking much on the ice or in the baseline training they’ve been doing during their month of allotted “down time”. 

“That would help,” she agrees. They have a lot of keywords that help them remember what their form should be. “Tuck”, “Glutes”, “Up”, “Longer”, are just some of the triggers that prompt both of them to adjust their form when they see or feel the other slipping out.

“And let’s up your physio back to what it was in Montreal,” he adds. 

It’s expensive and it annoys the shit out of her and she much prefers her team in Montreal now, but he’s not wrong about her needing it. When Tessa was a 20-year-old, skating through excruciating pain the vast majority of an Olympic season was doable and, to her current shame, made her feel just a little bit more like a badass than it should have. But these days, that sounds insane and unhealthy and is not something she wants to survive ever again, so prevention and attention to every detail is the theme of the day. 

“Yeah,” she agrees with a grimace. 

“Also, back to compression pants parties at night,” he says with a bit of a grin. 

“Kay will love that,” Tessa replies, feeling herself smile at the thought. Their daughter finds the pants fascinating and hilarious even after all this time, though they usually use them when they’re still at the gym most days.

“As long as she doesn’t run at your legs just so she can bounce off of them,” Scott says with a snort. When their kid gets rambunctious, it’s mostly hilarious since it’s rare.

They make it through the show and home to sleep at a semi-reasonable hour and then put all their focus on their wedding. Tessa would have preferred to get married a little further away from her birthday, but the third weekend in May makes the most sense for their schedules, and it’s not like they are the type of people that pay much attention to what others consider important dates anyway. That hasn’t actually changed now that they’re together either. 

However, since their family is all already in town, the siblings insist on throwing her a birthday dinner at her mom’s, which is really just an excuse to get everyone together for another party. The two families have always gotten on great, but now that there are going to be actual legalities tying them all together and it’s no longer just dependent on Tessa and Scott’s continued career partnership, they seem to have bonded even more deeply. The addition of significant others and kids makes their gatherings more hectic, but also entertaining and has only added to the bonds they’ve formed over the last two decades.

Tessa smiles as she takes a sip from her small glass of wine and watches as Kevin and Charlie show the oldest nieces the proper way to pitch a baseball. Their coaching technique must be solid since both girls’ aim drastically improves with just a few tweaks. Scott has Kaela and Casey’s daughter on either shoulder and has to clutch at their legs tightly to make sure they don’t fall when both girls laugh so hard and with such abandon that they almost fall off. Jordan and her boyfriend are talking with Danny and his Tessa as they set out more food and watch as the nephews play a game of tag where there seem to be very few rules. 

Tessa starts when her mom comes up from behind and puts her arm around her. “It’s quite the family you two have built,” she says as she looks out over the backyard along with her daughter. “We are all so lucky.”

Tessa makes a low hum in her throat in agreement but doesn’t take her eyes off the scene in front of her as she hugs her mom to her side and does everything she can to soak up this moment. 

***

They wake up together at dawn the morning of May 19th, and as she looks at Scott, a giddy thrill of anticipation runs through Tessa’s body. 

“We’re getting married,” Tessa whispers to him. They’re both lying on their sides facing each other, noses a few inches apart and wearing identical smiles. 

“Today, even,” Scott replies as he cups her face in his hand. 

On instinct Tessa sleepily nuzzles his hand and turns to kiss his palm. 

“Today, even,” she agrees. 

“Last chance to run away,” he says with a wink. There isn’t even a hint of fear in his eyes that she would do that and his confidence and security in her love makes Tessa incredibly happy. They’ve spent enough of their lives unsure about where they stand with each other personally. Scott’s spent a good chunk of that time thinking that Tessa was too good for him and would leave him someday and Tessa spent much of her life fearing the same. She’s more than glad those days are over. 

“I dunno,” Tessa says, already grinning, “I think a certain little girl would be pretty sad she doesn’t get to wear her very pretty dress.” Kaela is completely in love with her flower girl dress and truly would be devastated if she didn’t get to wear it. 

“Best reason to hitch yourself to me forever,” Scott says with a shrug. And honestly? Tessa isn’t sure he’s wrong. 

“It’s up there,” Tessa agrees. She closes her eyes and squeezes his hand. 

Scott drags his fingertips from the side of her face down her neck. Tessa shivers in response and brushes her fingers through his hair. Their coupling is slow and languid and sensual that morning. It’s early enough that they don’t have to rush, so they don’t. When they come, her first and him in quick succession, it’s with their faces buried in each other’s necks and whispered words of love and commitment that they’ll echo later on in the day. 

Once they’ve showered and dressed the morning gets busy but thankfully doesn’t devolve into anything remotely resembling the frantic nature that pop culture would indicate they should expect. It helps that it’s a small event with just family and that they are used to big, spectacle shows. In comparison, this is chill and relaxed. There’s an air of quiet anticipation, sure, but nothing that Tessa would call nerves. 

The flowers are beautiful and perfume the air with their light scent, a gorgeous mix of peonies, ranunculus, gardenias and anemones in various shades of pink and purple. Kaela gets a flower crown made with tiny silk banks roses and baby’s breath. All the nieces and nephews are dressed up, too, though no one is actually a designated flower girl or ring bearer. Jordan and Charlie (who won the coin toss between him and Danny) will witness the official documentation of their marriage, but no one is giving Tessa away and there will be no official bridesmaids or groomsmen. They all dress fancier than normal, primarily for the pictures that they’ll take more than because Tessa or Scott care all that much.

Tessa, Kaela, Kate, and Jordan are the only ones left inside right before the ceremony is about to start. Jordan adjusts Kaela’s flower crown as Kate kisses Tessa’s cheek and hugs her tight. 

Kate pulls back to look at her daughter before whispering, “You look more beautiful than ever.” She brushes a bit of Tessa’s hair back into place and adds, “More than that, you look happy. I couldn’t ask for more for you.” They turn and look into the mirror together and Tessa can see how she’s beaming. 

“I am so happy, Mom,” Tessa tells her as she kisses her mom’s cheek this time and they both do one last once over to be sure everything’s in place. 

Tessa’s hair has been pulled back into a low, soft chignon, with a few waves still framing her face. The top of the two piece dress has a high halter neck but leaves her shoulders bare. It stops a few inches from her skirt, giving a generous peek at the abs she’s worked hard on over the years. It’s fairly sedate from the front, but the structured fabric, which clasps at the base of her neck, just below her hairline, hangs straight down, but remains open down her back, showing glimpses of her bare back as she moves. The skirt is three layers of the softest tulle she’s ever felt and falls to just above her ankle. It’s a deceptively simple ensemble and she’ll be in Mathieu’s debt for a long time for creating exactly what she both did and did not know she wanted.

With one last squeeze of the hand and a kiss from her sister, Kate and Jordan leave Tessa and Kaela alone in the house and head out to take their place with the rest of the family. 

Tessa crouches down to get on Kaela’s level and tells her, “Do you know I love you so very much, Kaela Joy?” she asks as she brushes a curl off her daughter’s forehead, mimicking Kate’s action from a few moments before. 

“Love you, too, Mama!” Kaela tells her. She gets distracted by Tessa’s skirt again, something she’s been fascinated by since Tessa put it on half-an-hour before. She touches her hand to Tessa’s skirt and then her other to own and declares, “We’re the same!” since they both have skirts made of the same soft tulle. 

“We are, sweet girl,” she agrees with a delighted smile. “Let’s go walk down that aisle, yeah?”

Kaela beams up at her and nods enthusiastically, almost dislodging her crown. Tessa chuckles before standing straight and holding out her hand to her daughter who gamely takes it as they head outside. 

They’ve opted for a noon time wedding, when the sun is high and bright and warm. As Tessa and Kaela walk out the back door and onto the porch it’s to the sounds of birds singing and a slight breeze rustling through the trees, rather than any music. Tessa’s hold tightens on Kaela’s hand as they slowly descend the porch steps and her little girl gingerly makes her way down each step in her fancy buckle shoes. Everyone breaks into a laugh when she cries out “I did it!” as she reaches the grass. 

“Yeah, you did, baby,” Tessa murmurs to her. 

Once they’re on level ground, Tessa looks up to catch Scott’s gaze. She’s imagined the look on his face when he sees her in this moment a million times but she never got it right it seems. In her mind sometimes he’s so happy he’s laughing, often he has tears in his eyes, or streaming down his face, but never has she pictured him with the look of awe that he has right now. If there was ever any doubt that he adores her, and there rarely has been, the vision of his face when she walks out of that door and into the sunshine, would dispel it in an instant. She smiles at him, mouths the words, “I love you,” to him and then turns to encourage her dawdling daughter to come with her. 

“C’mon, Kay, let’s go marry Daddy,” she tells her, voice low and more choked up with tears than she expected. 

“Daddy?” Kaela calls out as she tries to see past all the adults and to her dad. 

“Yeah,” Tessa says with a soft smile. “Let’s go get Daddy.”

Kaela, who had been distracted by the flowers and the grass and by her fancy shoes and the tulle of her skirt, lets her mom guide her down the path that leads to her dad. 

“Daddy!” she cries when she sees him. 

Scott scoops her up when she runs to him and then kisses her on the cheek, shifts her to his right arm and holds his other hand out to Tessa, the awe back on his face. 

Tessa takes his hand, and steps up so she’s right next to him. 

“How did I get so lucky?” Scott whispers as he lifts her hand and presses a kiss to her knuckles. She leans over to kiss his cheek and can taste the tears that are there now. 

“You became the best man,” she whispers into his ear. Because he has. He’s worked hard to grow and change and be who he is now. The man he wants to be, which also happens to be a man that Tessa is more than thrilled to marry. It isn’t luck or destiny. And he didn’t do it to earn her, he doesn’t expect her hand as his due, but she gladly holds his hand anyway. 

“Hey buddy, is it okay if Grandpa holds you now?” Scott asks Kaela. The little girl looks over at Joe and smiles, wiggling to indicate she’s ready for Scott to put her down and then running over to her grandpa. Joe picks her up, tells her something Tessa can’t make out, before she turns her focus turns to the officiant. 

Then she and Scott hold tight to each others’ hands and vow to keep doing so for the rest of their lives. 

It’s a short ceremony followed by a longer, relaxed party where the kids run around the backyard and the adults drink good wine and eat good food. They even have a small dance floor where they get to dance their first dance as husband and wife. The soothing voice of Nat King Cole sings about how their love is here to stay as they dance much more gently and sweetly than they’ve likely ever danced in their lives. At the start it’s little more than some swaying back and forth, heads bowed together as they quietly whisper to each other. 

“I knew I’d be happy today,” Scott tells her as they dance, “but this is so much more than that. Some days I’m still amazed that you’re willing to be my ice dance partner, much less my love.”

“Ditto,” she says into his neck. “You’ve given me the best life, Scott. The best.”

“We’ve given that to each other,” he replies. “Not sure what you were thinking when you took my hand all those years ago, but I’ll love you for it forever.”

“I was thinking you were cute. And fast,” she replies with a chuckle. 

“Same, honestly,” he tells her. The music moves into a lilting little flute section that’s perfect for twirling, and Tessa laughs as he twirls her away from him and then pulls her back into his arms. He leads her into a slow foxtrot from that point on, neither of them able to go the whole song without properly dancing for at least a little bit. 

At the end, he dips her, even though the song doesn’t really call for it. He dips her and kisses her and whispers “I love you,” as he pulls her back up into his arms. 

They get to dance to most of the other songs, with each other and with different family members. They laugh as the kids boogie and the whole family does the twist. They barely take a moment to breathe, moving from dance to dance for almost two hours with their crazy, enthusiastic family. There are others that Tessa wish could be here with them, but ultimately this is the best day Tessa could imagine right in this moment. 

They end the evening dancing to Ray LaMontagne’s “You Are the Best Thing,” as Scott croons along to the song. Tessa quietly sings back to him, trusting that only he can hear. Halfway through the song Scott looks away from her for a second and his eyes light up. Tessa turns to see Kaela staring at them from where she stands by Jordan and she’s completely unsurprised when he steers them over to her and sweeps their little girl up so they can both hold her as they dance and sing.

They’ve given themselves three nights for a mini honeymoon at a small rental cottage at the lake. They leave Kaela behind with Kate who will keep both her granddaughters with her at the Virtue-Moir home until they get back. 

They drive off after sunset so they get to the cottage a little after 10:00pm. Though they’d normally be in bed by now, they’re both still humming with energy when they make their way into the the living room and see what their hosts have set up for them. There’s the typical honeymoon staples of champagne, strawberries and chocolate, as well as good bread and cheese and all sorts of other food and drinks, most of which are even on their list of approved food. But they get this one day to indulge in every way so they grab whatever food strikes their fancy and eat curled up on the plush couch in the living area since it’s a little too chilly to eat outside on the deck without going to the trouble of lighting the fire pit and heat lamps. 

“You actually married me,” Scott says once they’ve eaten their fill and put their plates down on the coffee table one more time. “We got married, T.”

She’s leaning back against his chest so she has to crane her neck a bit to look back at him. He’s got a dopey smile and a disbelieving crinkle between his brows and Tessa can’t help but kiss his jaw in response. “We did,” she agrees. “Go us,” she jokes. She settles back so she’s comfortable against his chest again and laces her fingers through his where they’re resting on her belly. 

They have matching platinum rings on their left hands, hers now paired with the engagement ring he had designed for her in January, a simple emerald ring that manages to have a classic look and a low profile. She gets a thrill from looking at their hands together now, the rings next to each other. She plays with his fingers for a moment, suddenly struck by how strong and capable his hands are and then she lifts his hands so she can kiss the pads of his fingers, the callouses there rough against her lips. 

Wordlessly and without really letting go of his hand, Tessa stands and tugs, encouraging him to follow her. He grabs hold of her hips once they’re both standing and follows her up the stairs and into the master bedroom. Tessa turns in his arms and kisses him deep and wet and hot immediately. While neither of them are in a hurry, they had their fill of sweet, quiet sex this morning and tonight the excitement and anticipation and pure fucking joy comes together to ignite a quick and blazing passion that they rarely get the chance to indulge in. 

Scott moves from her lips to kiss and suck his way down her throat and chest, taking only a few moments to pull her cropped sweatshirt off before he’s using the pads of his thumbs to tease her nipples and then his tongue. His hands and mouth are all over her breasts and Tessa can only hold him against her and allow the delicious sensations to build in her. It isn’t long before he’s sliding off the boyshorts she’d changed into and using his whole face to go down on her. He takes his time and is extremely thorough, as is his want, but he’s also efficient as hell, hitting all the right spots. She shakes as he lightly nips at the crease of her thigh and then sucks at her cunt lips, encouraging the blood flow and increasing her sensitivity tenfold. She yelps when he quickly nips the flesh around her clit and then sucks her clit and hood into his mouth bringing her to the brink before backing off just before she comes and leaving her to whimper at the loss of the pressure. Scott lays his head on her thigh and smirks up at her and says, voice rough, “We have all night, T. I’m gonna make you feel so good.” 

As frustrated as she is to have come so close to orgasm, Tessa can’t help but run her fingers through his hair and smile down at him, knowing that she has to already look completely debauched. “You always make me feel good, Scott. Always.”

“Gladly,” he says as he kisses the skin just above her mons. “But I have two days to learn what new noises I can coax out of you when there are no neighbors or sleeping kids for miles. So strap in,” he says as he waggles his eyebrows and then uses both thumbs to spread her lips and lick into her as deep as he can. 

For once Tessa doesn’t have to suppress the noises that bubble out of her when his nose slides against her clit, nor the keening, throaty sound that escapes her when he slides two fingers inside her, quickly taps against her upper wall, and then applies pulsing pressure there as his tongue flicks her clit. 

“Fuck,” she groans out. But as good as this all feels what she really wants in this moment, besides an orgasm, is for Scott to come back up so she can kiss him and he can fuck her, _with_ her. 

So she tugs none too gently on his hair and calls his name. 

His head pops up and he looks at her, head cocked, face covered in her arousal, and somehow still managing to look sweet and sincere and so very, very fuckable. 

“C’mere,” she asks, sitting up slightly and taking his head in both her hands, encouraging him to come face to face with her. 

He nods and crawls up the bed and settles in between her thighs and the weight of him against her core is the very beginning of what she needs. She reaches down and finds him hard, and warm and half smeared in pre-cum. She kisses him, a deep, hot kiss that she can feel in her toes. She grabs a condom from where they left them on the bed and quickly sheaths him with it. 

Scott enters her with no hesitation, all strength and surety, taking only a moment to find the angle that takes her breath away. His pace is fast and driving but as he holds her gaze there is such tenderness that she actually starts to feel overwhelmed by the intensity. In no time at all she finds herself on the cusp of coming, and all she can do is clutch at his back and gasp as she loses sense of how to breathe and then he’s there coaxing her, “Let go, love. Let go, beautiful,” as he reaches down to ever so lightly stroke her clit and she comes. 

She is only partially aware of him pressing his face into her shoulder and grunting as his thrusting becomes more erratic and pointed and then he shudders as he finds his release. 

When she starts to come back to her body she can’t stop touching him. She gently runs her hands through his hair and down his arms and back, enjoying the weight of him against her, at least for a moment. 

He eventually comes to his senses, too. He huffs out a laugh in her ear as he pushes himself up on one of his arms and slides out of her, making sure the condom stays secure as he does so. He sits up and gets rid of the condom in the bedside trash and then lies back down at her side, pulling her to him. He’s beautiful with his hair a mess and his face and chest flushed and the most content smile she’s seen on his face in a while. 

“Married sex is pretty awesome,” he says with a grin. “I’m pretty sure we’re the best ever at it,” he adds as he winks at her and kisses her hair. 

Tessa laughs loud at his enthusiastic assessment, “Best in the world,” she agrees.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it y'all. This 'verse has been a dream to write. Thanks for all the love! I hope it brings a little joy to all of you.

It’s not as hard getting back into the swing of things in Montreal. They’re refreshed and ready to put in the hard work. They love their programs, even if convincing their team that Moulin Rouge is the right choice for them is a bit of a task. The classic rock medley that they’re doing for the Latin is perfect for them and as the programs take shape they get more and more psyched for the coming season. 

If the 2013-2014 season was marked by dread and frustration, this season is pure anticipation and determination. It’s much more similar to the build up to the 2010 Olympics except the fear isn’t there anymore. Their relationship is solid and well tended and they know that as much as they want this, there are no guarantees but that at the end of the day, they have each other. 

Time flies by as the summer fades into fall. Their world gets incredibly small in a way it hadn’t even last season. Their world is Kaela and ice dance, admittedly not always in that order. Both Tessa and Scott narrow in on their little world with a focus they’ve frankly never had in their lives. They win ACI and Skate Canada and NHK but much like the 2013 Grand Prix season, they’re scores often fall behind what the French are getting. It’s disheartening and frustrating but not even a little surprising. 

They give their programs the chance to grow, flourish, and solidify, but when they go head to head against Gabi and Guillaume in December, they still lose. They leave some points on the table in the short, but give the long all they have and it’s not enough. 

This time they aren’t helpless and this time they have the knowledge and maturity to ask for the changes they need. There is nothing inevitable in the Olympics, not even in ice dance, so they revamp the back half of their free and skate the shit out of it at Nationals. 

“It’s a perfect score,” Tessa hears Patrice tell her, and she’s more than just a little bewildered. The reaction to the reworked free was louder and more enthusiastic than anything she’s heard from a crowd ever. There are hugs all around and then Scott kisses her on the cheek and tells her he’s proud of her and then they sheepishly stand and wave acknowledgement to the crowd and the rest of the country that they’re so thrilled to represent. 

It’s unsurprising to see how choked up Scott gets at the reaction from both the judges and the crowd, though they both know it’s mostly a courtesy and a loving farewell, but Tessa is a little surprised when she has to swallow down her own tears. It’s been a long, hard, winding road, but it feels fantastic to still have the support and love of their country as they head into their final training weeks before leaving for Korea. 

“We really are so loved,” Tessa tells him as they walk toward the press line. After all this time it still overwhelms her sometimes. 

“We really are,” he agrees, pressing a kiss to her temple. 

She surprises herself and him by leading him over behind one of the banners and pulling him into a long hug as she gulps in air and tries to regulate her breathing. 

“You okay?” he asks, pulling back so he can look at her face. 

“I just need a minute,” she tells him, breathing him in and planting her forehead into his chest so she can feel both his breath and his heartbeat. 

“Take all the time you need, love,” he tells her as he runs his hand up and down her back. “I think they’ll wait for us.”

 

The Olympics are magical like always. Carrying the flag for Canada is not something they even considered themselves eligible for, not with so many other veterans on the team, but they take the honor seriously and love every second of it and trust that the rest of their team has their back. The time in Seoul before and in between their various competitive skates is focused and joyful. They are looser than they’ve ever been, and more prepared than they could have hoped for. They have a team with them who believe in them and want the best for them and their other athletes. 

The team event is fun instead of nausea inducing. There are just enough nerves and anticipation to make it exciting without tipping it over into torture like it had been at Sochi. Skating solidly and getting scored accordingly helps as well. The crowd, and the television audience they find out later, seem to dig their short dance and if it’s not their best effort or result, it’s mostly by design. 

Skating their updated free in competition for only the second time, when they can essentially bomb and their team will still take gold, is such a gift. They execute all the elements, even the tweaked ones, to near perfection, and the response of the crowd is electric and without even seeing their scores they can feel their determination and confidence start to buzz under their skin. 

Celebrating with Team Canada is fun but short. They get the press done and then head back out to Seoul and the private rink they booked time at where they can get in as much skating time as they need. It’s a blessing because it means they get to sleep in a big bed together for a little while longer and the distractions of the village are far, far away. 

“They love you,” Patch says to them on the ride back to Seoul where they’ll train. “The crowd. They love you and they love the program. It will help.”

Tessa and Scott surrendered to the fickleness of a judged sport long ago and are not ashamed to take every advantage they can get as long as they’ve created it themselves. They miss the quiet, poetic ending of their free and are genuinely glad that they got to compete with it four times, but having a crowd pleaser at the Olympics is a no-brainer. That they love this version, too, is a relief. It’s powerful and raw and bombastic in a way that feels like the perfect ending for their competitive career. 

Joe, Alma, Kate and Jordan come to Seoul first, Kaela in tow and they get to spend their penultimate night in the city as a family. 

“Mama!” she cries as soon as she sees Tessa in the lobby of the hotel. She runs to them as fast as her tiny legs can take her and starts to trip just as she gets to them. Tessa, who is squatting so she can hug her tight, catches her before she falls and sweeps her baby up into a happy hug as she stands up straight. 

“I missed you so, so much, sweet girl,” Tessa says as she holds her kid and rocks her back and forth. 

“Missed you,” Kaela repeats back to her, her voice small but clear as a bell. 

Tessa feels Scott behind them and sees him cup Kaela’s face in his hand out of the corner of her eye. 

“Hey buddy,” he says as he kisses her forehead and pulls them both into a hug. 

“Hi Daddy,” Kaela says, though she doesn’t move her head from Tessa’s shoulder. 

They’re done with their practice for the day and get to spend the whole evening with their family and it’s calming and centering in a way that grounds both of them in the reality of who they are, where they’ve come from, and where they’re going. Having this moment before their individual events in Vancouver or Sochi would have thrown them for a loop and taken them out of their focused mindset, but here it just means they get to miss their daughter a little less and remember one of the reasons why they want to give it their best. 

They take her back to their room after dinner and read to her and snuggle with her. 

“When you wake up, you’ll be with Nana and Auntie JoJo,” Tessa tells her. They’re letting her fall asleep with them, probably more for their own benefit than hers, though they do think it helps her, too. “And then you’re going to take a train to PyeongChang, and you’re going to have so much fun there and see some pretty cool things.”

“But I’ll miss you,” Kaela tells her, tears welling up in her eyes. 

“Oh bud, we’re gonna miss you, too,” Scott tells her as he pulls her up so she’s sitting on his lap. Tessa watches he lifts Kaela’s chin and smiles at her. “We always miss you when we’re away. But where do we carry you when we’re not with you?”

Kaela shrugs and looks down. 

“Oh no,” Tessa laughs. “Looks like someone’s being stubborn, and you know what happens when our little girl is stubborn,” she says with a sly smile. 

“Oh no is right,” Scott says with a forced and theatrical laugh. “Stubborn means it’s time for some ticklin’,” he says as he wiggles his fingers in front of his face. 

Kaela’s eyes get big and she starts to back up. 

Scott goes in for a tickle attack immediately, sending the small girl into a fit of laughter and screeching that is likely disturbing the people next door. She laughs too hard to say anything for almost thirty full seconds until she giggles out a squeaky, “Stop!”

Which Scott does immediately, though he does bounce her up and down a few times to show that he’s not mad about being asked to stop. 

“I love you Kaela Joy,” he says to her seriously once the laughter and gasping for air has stopped. “And when I’m away from you I carry you where?” he asks again. 

Kaela looks down for a second as she’s reminded that she’ll be separated from her parents again soon. But slowly she reaches out and touches her hand to Scott’s chest, grabbing a fisful of his shirt the way she did when she was younger. 

“In my heart,” Scott nods as he holds his hand over hers. 

They know she doesn’t really get it, that’s she’s too young to understand, but the ritual is important. 

“And where do you carry me?” he asks. 

This time she reacts quicker and holds her other hand to her own chest. He uses his other hand to cover hers then, too. 

“What about me?” Tessa asks. 

Kaela scrambles off Scott and climbs onto Tessa’s belly since she’s in a more reclined position than Scott is. 

“I’m in your heart, Mama,” Kaela tells her with the utmost sincerity as she places her hand in between Tessa’s breasts. 

“Always, sweet girl,” Tessa tells her. “Always.”

“You’re in my heart, too!” Kaela tells her as she puts her other hand on her own chest. 

And then she lays down on top of Tessa and snuggles into her chest and stares at her dad.

“You sleepy, Kay-Jo?” he asks. It’s a little early but with the time difference, even with the amount of sleep she got on the plane, she’s likely exhausted. 

“No,” she says. “Just comfy.”

Scott laughs because Kaela is obviously sleepy and stalling, something she rarely does. 

“Okay,” he says. “Your Mama is pretty comfy, so I get it. You just rest there and I’ll tell you a story.”

Their sleepy girl falls asleep five minutes after Scott starts. They leave her be for another hour, letting themselves take in her sweet, calming presence before padding over to Kate and Jordan’s room. They leave their girl with kisses and I love you’s, even though she’s sound asleep and then head back to their room and sleep curled around each other. 

They have never been more focused and prepared as they are going into the short. They totally nail it. It’s fun and fast and they can feel themselves hitting every edge and turn. They give themselves a few hours to feel ecstatic and then they head back to Tessa’s room to sleep. Kaitlyn has been fine with staying with Andrew during the time that Tessa and Scott actually stay in the village which has been a huge bonus. 

They change into their sleep clothes and fall into a heap on the beds they push together. They’re pretty much just using the one bed, but since Scott doesn’t want to risk falling off if he flips over too quickly in his sleep, they’ve opted do have them shoved up against each other just in case. 

They whisper words of love and encouragement to each other before they drift off to sleep, tangled up together. 

 

The energy in the building is incredible. This is the thought that runs through Tessa’s head over and over as they wait for their turn to skate. As they practice their lifts and do their lunges and focus only on each other as they keep their bubble erected around them, they still can’t help but feel the way the energy builds and builds. 

Forever and no time at all has passed when they’re ushered to the boards as they wait for the team before them to make their way to the kiss and cry and receive their scores. 

“We’re right where we want to be,” Scott tells her as they face each other holding hands. 

“Leave it all out on the ice,” she says back. 

Marie and Patch are behind them as they step out onto the ice and stroke around waiting for their names to be announced. 

They exchange a quiet, “I love you” right before their names are announced and they skate away from each other and slip into character. 

 

“That’s enough,” Patch says once he sees their scores. Their first place spot is announced and she lets out an unguarded little scream as Scott shoots out of his seat and then pulls her into the tightest hug. She can feel how much he’s coming undone at the seams in the best way. 

“Fuck, I love you,” he sobs into her ear. 

She laughs a giddy laugh in response, lets out another uncharacteristic squeal that barely makes it out of her mouth and buries her head in his neck, repeating the words to him. He sets her down eventually and they share hugs, first with their team, this team that’s believed in them when it probably made no sense to do so and all but carried them through it at times. 

And then once the initial rush eases, she looks around to find their family but doesn’t see them where they were sitting at the opening of their skate. She taps Scott on his side and asks, “Did you see where our family went?” 

Scott is looking around the arena with her when Patch taps her on the shoulder and points directly above them. Tessa’s face immediately erupts on another joyful smile as she sees Danny, Charlie, Jordan standing at the railing, Kaela snug in Jordan’s arms. She knows what Scott’s plan is before he turns to grin at her and then runs and springs up when he reaches the wall, arm outstretched so his brothers can grab hold. She watches as they do their customary Olympics hug, Scott’s legs dangling as the the three of them hold on for dear life. But this time, instead of dropping back to the ground, he pulls up on the bar so he can sit on it. As soon as he’s steady, he immediately pulls Kaela into his arms and hugs her tight. Tessa can see his tears from here.

“C’mon, T,” he yells. “There’s someone you gotta say hi to.” 

The wall looks higher than any other that he’s done this with but if she can get high enough Danny and Charlie can pull her up with no problem. 

“I’ll give you a boost,” Patch says from where he still stands at her shoulder. 

“Yeah, okay,” she replies. And then she’s at the wall and he’s lifting her by the ankles as she holds herself erect and reaches up to grab the boys’ hands. They pull her all the way up so she’s sitting next to Scott. She hugs Jordan first, quick and happy. 

“I’m so proud of you, Sam,” Jordan tells her as she squeezes her tight. 

“We actually did it,” Tessa tells her, still bewildered and giddy. 

And then she’s turning and right there next to her is her whole life balancing on a guard rail at least fifteen feet in the air. She laughs and cries and joins Scott and Kaela’s hug, trusting that none of their siblings will let them fall. 

“Oh Kaela Joy,” she says against her daughter’s curls, “I love you so much.”

Kaela smiles up at her, flashing her tiny teeth, happy as a clam in this loud arena, with cameras going off all around them, secure in her parents’ arms. 

“That was pretty, Mama,” Kaela says as she reaches out and fingers some of the sparkling beading on her dress. 

“Thank you sweet girl,” Tessa tells her as she kisses her cheek again. 

Scott asks her, “Did you have fun, buddy?” 

“Yep,” she says with a nod but doesn’t say much more as she snuggles back into him and looks out at all the activity. 

“I hate to break this up but Mike’s calling you guys back down,” Danny says with his usual unimpressed tone. 

They both sigh and bow their heads to Kaela’s, not ready to break up this moment but knowing they were damn lucky to get the time they’ve taken already. 

“We love you, Kay-Jo,” Scott says. “You’re our favorite thing, okay?” he says as he kisses her face again. 

Tessa presses her hand against her daughter’s heart. “Just a little longer, Kaela Joy,” she murmurs, more to herself than to her daughter. 

“You’re gonna go back to your uncles and aunty and then you’ll get to watch us get some stuffed animals which will definitely be yours later,” Scott tells her. 

Jordan steps up and Kaela willingly goes to her, though her face is furrowed and a little sad. Scott and Tessa take a second as he presses his forehead to her’s again, to just breathe each other in and try and fortify themselves for the next stretch of chaos. 

“Getting down’s gonna be fun, eh?” he says. “Me first, then I’ve got you, yeah?” he asks. 

“Of course,” she answers. Cause there’s no doubt he does. 

 

Two days later they’re walking with Kaela from their hotel to a restaurant they’re meeting their family at. They’ve each got one of Kaela’s hands in theirs and they’re swinging her between them every five or so steps, making her laugh her big, gorgeous laugh. Tessa looks up and gasps when she sees him about 20 feet in front of them, heading their way. 

Scott immediately swings Kaela up into his arms, hearing the note of alarm in her gasp and furrows his brow, asking what caused her alarm? 

“The man heading our way is Daniel,” she says through clenched teeth. 

Scott’s head whips up to look at the man, just as Daniel looks up and actually sees who they are for the first time. He stutters to a stop and so have they, so they’re all just standing there, now ten feet away from each other and staring. 

Daniel looks from Kaela to Scott to Tessa and back to Kaela again before straightening and walking slowly toward them. 

Before he even says hello, in a low voice he says, “I will keep walking if that’s what’s needed, but I would like to meet her if that’s possible.”

All the air is sucked out of Tessa’s lungs as she looks up at Scott. His jaw is clenched and his hand is up to shield Kaela from the sun and wind and the gaze of the man who chose to not be in her life. She searches Scott’s face and he scans her’s and then together they nod and turn toward him. 

Scott holds out the hand that was against Kaela’s head and introduces himself, “I’m Scott Moir.”

Daniel takes his hand and shakes it, keeping eye contact with him. 

Scott grabs Tess’s hand once he’s no longer shaking Daniel’s. “How have your games been?” he asks and Tessa is in awe at just how composed he sounds. 

“Not nearly as good as yours but I had two top ten finishes,” he says. His smile is genuine and he doesn’t take his eyes off the adult’s faces. “Congratulations on your wins,” he adds with a slight bow of his head in acknowledgement. 

“Thank you,” Tessa whispers. She can barely get the words out of her throat. 

Scott squeezes her hand in reassurance and she takes a steadying breath. 

“Hey buddy,” Scott says as he brings his face close to Kaela’s. “Can you say hi to Daniel?” 

Kaela turns her face out so she can see the man her parents are talking to and shrugs in response. 

Daniel’s face softens even more and he smiles gently. “Hello Kaela,” he says, giving her a little wave. 

Kaela stares at him for a second more and then moves her fingers in a tiny wave before looking up at Scott and says, “Daddy, it’s cold.”

For a brief, heavy second the tension is thick and oppressive and Tessa can hardly breathe, but then Daniel bows his head again and laughs a little. “You’d better get the little one inside.”

Scott bounces Kaela up and down and asks her, “You ready for some grub, Miss Kaela?”

She nods enthusiastically and growls, “Grub, grub,” as she pats Scott on the chest. 

“We’d better get her fed,” Tessa says. “But it was good to see you,” she adds. Because, while it hasn’t necessarily been good, it has been helpful in some way. 

“Yeah, man,” Scott says holding his hand out to shake. “Thank you,” Scott adds, voice sincere as she’s ever heard it. 

Daniel just cocks his head a little and waits for Scott to continue. 

“These two are the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Scott says with a shrug. “You’ve made some decisions that I will never be able to understand, but you seem at peace with them and I get to have this little one call me Daddy for the rest of her life. I don’t get why anyone would give that up, but I’m damn grateful you did.”

Daniel shakes his head, points at them, and says, “This is why I gave it up. She gets a family and father who is in her life every day instead of a stranger who shows up once a year to disrupt her life.”

Scott shakes his head and lifts Kaela’s fist to his lips. Tessa knows he still can’t fathom that choice. 

Kaela shivers once again, and Tessa pats Scott’s shoulder. “Take her on ahead. I’ll meet you there,” she says. 

Scott looks at her with mild concern but nods, “You wanna say bye, Kaela?” he asks. “Time to go get some food in your belly,” he says as he tickles her stomach and makes her giggle. 

“Bye!” she says enthusiastically. She waves again, this time a little bigger and smiles at him, mostly because she’s about to get fed and out of the cold. 

“See you inside,” Scott tells Tessa as he squeezes her hand one more time and then continues down the block to meet the rest of their family. 

“She’s beautiful,” Daniel says. “Looks just like you.”

“Yeah,” Tessa says. “She’s smart and sweet and beautiful.” She swallows hard before continuing, “And she’s mine. Mine and Scott’s and--”

“Whoa,” Daniel says, holding up a hand to stop her. “She is yours and she is Scott’s. I have no plan to insert myself into her life,” he says calmly but a little wistfully. 

“Okay,” Tessa agrees. 

“I wouldn’t mind knowing, every once in a while maybe, how she’s doing,” he tells her. “But beyond that, I gave up any right to know her. I’m glad she’s healthy and happy. That’s all I want for her,” he says. 

“She’s the greatest,” Tessa tells him. “Is your contact information still the same?” she asks. 

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a card with his information on it. “Mostly. But here’s my card.”

“We’re looking into having Scott formally adopt her in the next year now that we’ll be a little more settled. You’re not on her birth certificate, but I may need to have you sign some other documents saying that you’ve given up your rights. The lawyers will sort it out soon,” she says. 

“Yeah,” he says. “Send them my way if needed.”

“Okay,” she says. “It was good to see you,” she adds and she mostly means it. She abruptly throws her arms around him in a brief hug that he only has a second to return before she’s stepping back out of it. “Go have a good life, Daniel,” she tells him.

“You, too, Tessa Virtue,” he says with a small smile. And then he walks away. 

Tessa takes a few moments to gulp down some air and then she heads the rest of the way to the restaurant. Their family and friends are all gathered, loud and talking over each other. It’s not everyone, but it’s a good crowd. Tessa slips into her seat next to Scott and pulls Kaela into her lap, hugging her to her chest. 

“Mama,” Kaela protests. “You’re squeezing hard,” she says with a bit of a whine. 

Tessa squeezes her once more and then loosens her arms a little as Kaela settles back into her chest. 

Scott raises an eyebrow in silent question and Tessa feels herself relax and smile at him. 

“We’re good,” she says with a sigh. 

“Oh, darlin’,” he says with a ridiculous drawl, “We’re more than good.” He winks at her and then his attention is pulled away by his dad asking a question about the hockey game. 

Tessa watches with a grin as he gets riled up again. She looks around the room and realizes once again, that she does, indeed, have the best life.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come talk to me on tumblr at peacefulboo, but also at boo-writes-stuff where I will actually answer the lovely anons I get about the RPF fic I write. ;) I'm on twitter too, but, it's twitter so not quite as fun.


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